Calling All HOMEWRECKERS!!

So I was done with reporting on HOMEWRECKERS after my last post on the subject about a month ago. Well at least I thought so until I heard some foolery on the radio over the weekend. If any of my readers reside in the DMV they have probably heard this promotion by now. Let me explain for those of you all who have no idea of what I'm babbling about (LOL). A popular radio station has a promotion going on right now and the tag line is below.

"Calling all Homewreckers!! Call in(to the station) for your chance to win tickets to see ALICIA KEYS on her Freedom Tour during this winning weekend. We bet your boxing skills have to be good to mess with married men so you also get tickets to eat breakfast with Floyd Mayweather Jr."

WOW!! Did they really just throw poor Alicia under the bus?

Here's a little background for those of you that don't know the history with this story. Alicia Keys is romantically linked to the yet to be divorced (still married) mega producer Swizz Beatz. There are even rumors that the two love birds are engaged. It seems that Alicia's squeaky clean image has been tarnished a bit with these allegations. She joins the ranks of another female in the business who is dating a NBA basketball player (she shall remain nameless because last time I checked the truth hurt so bad she was suing bloggers LOL). We have heard the story of these two with the female being classified as a HOMEWRECKER.

One lady did call in the went on and on about how even though her "man" is married she is #1 and not his wife. She went on to explain their relationship and how it doesn't bother her that he is married. She even hinted that her "man" was a professional Ball Player (yea right and you are calling in the win concert tickets?). People have no morals or respect for themselves. I guess these HOMEWRECKERS have never caught an episode of SNAPPED(I'll reserve that for a later post).

WHAT'S DONE IN THE DARK, COMES OUT IN THE LIGHT...SOONER OR LATER!

By the way, Ms. Tyra has been on point with her guests as of late. Now it is not award winning journalism, however it is entertaining (foolery at its best).

Check out the video below of a lady saying she prefers to date married men and they are more attractive to her than single men.



via Youtube

SAY WHAT?!?!

Since the re-emergence of Whitney Houston we have all heard the debate of "Old Whitney" vs. "New Whitney". Most people are glad that Whitney is back to music and delivered from the unhealthy lifestyle that kept her away from the music business for so many years. On Oprah a while back Whitney told the story of her mother, Cissy Houston, arriving at her home with a sheriff and an ultimatum. I suppose the ultimatum was to get her life together or continue on a path of destruction. This makes me wonder what was the turning point? Was Whitney at her "rock bottom"? Or was the Intervention long over due? Or did other factors play a part in her mother deciding to act at that moment in time (was the well running dry?). We may never know, but I do know that Whitney has not been receiving good reviews overseas as of late. Most people realize that Whitney is not the "old" Whitney. Her voice has changed yet she can still sing better than most of the songbirds in the industry. However, the video below showcases a performance that I know Whitney wishes she can forget. After watching the video I wondered why none of her backup singers came to her rescue. In the words of Ms. Divadoll, Mama Whitney should retire "I Will Always Love You" because it sounds a mess in the lower key and she can not, I repeat, she can not hit the high notes.

Take a look...let me know what you think!




via WSSH

CHECK your Ego...so that I dont have to

In an age where many of us ladies have been accused of suffering from the "Independent Woman Syndrome", I have noticed an increase in a new syndrome that for some reason has yet to be named. I'll go ahead and call it the "Ego TRIPPIN syndrome". Over the past few months I have noticed young men suffering from this sickness. You think because you have a decent career, nice car, a place to stay, taking care of your kids, etc. that you should be given some extra props.

::NEWSFLASH:: This just in: The things that you have acquired and have been doing are NOT extraordinary..in fact hunnie..you work EVERYDAY, are educated, and laid down and made that baby...seems to me YOU SHOULD BE DOING THOSE THINGS! It's a part of being a MAN :)

I am by no means meaning to bash yall, but it seems that some of you took Beyonce' and Kanye a tad bit too serious when it came to the talk about egos. Please remember than even Kanye's BIG ego, landed him into publicity drama. CHECK YOUR EGOS FELLAS.

Let me take it a step further. A woman who becomes overly excited when you brag on your material blessings, is NOT I repeat NOT interested in you as a "good dude." If as you are talking about your new car, she is saying "oh when are you gonna let me and the girls drive that"...or if you are talking about your new raise and she makes mention of "a new bag I saw in the mall"..she is playing you for the fool you have portrayed yourself to be! When you really have it going on you dont have to say ANYTHING about it.

Then again, what do I know...I am the girl who isnt blinded by your possessions, but always on the quest to HAVE MY OWN. Unfortunately, because I dont jump up and down when you buy the new Beamer, Benz or Bentley (love that song lol) you cant handle it. Because when you tell me how much money you bring in annually I dont start spending your checks..you arent satisfied! A GROWN WOMAN wont overly concern herself with things that you have. She will be more interested in how she can BUILD UPON THE EMPIRE WITH YOU! Think about it..that SHOULD be what you want.

In closing let me say this, there is NOTHING better than a successful man. I love and appreciate you guys. However, I am not looking to be "upgraded" nor am I looking for a project. I am more interested in a man who has success, but doesnt have to let THE WORLD know. A man whose ego I am not having to constantly stroke! A man who realizes that waking up and going to work and handling your business daily does NOT equal deserving a cookie. Lets support each other, and build a life of success TOGETHER. You shouldnt want me to ride your coat-tail! Start appreciating and respecting the woman who could care less about your material blessings...she just might be the ONE you NEED on the team :)

Bruh...YOU DONT WANT TO TAKE IT THERE....

Today while I was doing a little shopping I picked up the film Diary of a TIRED Black Man. I didnt quite know what to expect, but had been seeing it on the shelf for awhile and decided to see what it was about. I must say I am happy I did. I think that the film sheds some light on how OUR BRUTHAS are viewing us when it comes to relationships. They all seemed to have something in common..the number one complaint was that black women were ANGRY (and from my first post...I can admit that I have definately been that.) There was one scene in the movie that REALLY disturbed me. Let me explain.

The film followed a couple from dating, to marriage..to divorce. It also showed how her girlfriends who themselves were in disfunctional relationships, affected the way she treated her man (who was a good man by the way.) One friend in particular was in an abusive relationship. There was a scene where her boyfriend was beating her DOWN and the married couple had to come to her rescue. I began to think...what would happen if myself or one of my girlfriends got into that type of situation. Although I hope and pray that none of us will find ourselves in an abusive relationship...I wonder what my first response would be.

Then I thought about it...I know that if I EVER called Ms.GreenTea and told her that a man had put his hands on me...the first thing she would ask me is if he was still breathing! (yea...sounds crazy...but...) LADIES if you dont RESPECT YOURSELF enough to NOT allow a man to put his hands on you...then you need to reevaluate YOURSELF!

On the flip side of this..we as women have to keep in mind that we should not be putting OUR hands on our men either! When I say this, the situation that comes to my mind is the Chris Brown/Rhianna situation...there were reports of her putting her hands on C.Breezy before "that night". LOOK LADIES...you cant think you are going to keep putting your hands on someone...and that they arent going to put their hands back on you. SO...ladies and gents...to TRY to maintain some type of "peace" I urge you all to KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! If you get in a situation where one party cant seem to handle that LEAVE...no, matter of fact RUN the other way!

Keke Wyatt said it best "When the drama starts to hit the fan, raise your voice but NOT your hand. And you can say the most hurtful things you can..you can yell, scream all those things DONT PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME"

RESPECT EACH OTHER! Be Blessed :)

Cracking Cases!!

So looks like Ms. Chay and I have found a side job! We are accepting new clients as we speak... Below is a story on a case we worked (seriously)

So recently Ms. N had an encounter with a young man Mr. S she knew from High School. After getting reacquainted with one another Ms. N asked Mr. S what he did for a living. Now she heard stories of Mr. S's profession, but why not ask the source. Mr. S stated he worked for a Government Agency (that shall remain nameless)! So being the inquisitive person I am I wanted to know what he did at this agency. Ms. N did not know, but stated she would ask Mr. S. It is truly a small world because I happened to have a friend that worked at the same agency (Evil Laugh muhahaha). I asked Mr. B (my friend of works at the agency)did he know Mr. S. I know, I know agencies have thousands of employees, so there is a chance that Mr. B will not know Mr. S (Kanye shrug). However, we are in the times of technology, so I asked Mr. B to run Mr. S through the email directory. This was a simple task that would only take a few seconds, but before that task could be completed the primary source started to change his story. Since the story was now shaky, Ms. N was instructed to go for the kill. Ms. N started asking Mr. S questions that he would know if he worked at this certain agency. Mr. S finally admitted that he did not work with that agency, but worked on an area base. Ms. N then questioned why did he lie? Mr. S did not have a real answer, he actually stated that he did not remember telling her that he even worked at the agency. (How convenient) Little by little the story started to unravel. The more it unraveled the more we dug. So finally we thought we had cracked the case. Mr. S did not work at that Gov't Agency he stated before, but another agency (so he said).

So it seemed like the conversation and investigating about the topic was over. So we thought until Mr. S showed up and pretty much showed out (LOL). Mr. S proceeded to show Ms. N proof that he really did work at the questionable Government Agency. So more investigation was needed to get to the bottom of this web of deceit. Now I wanted to know why he was lying? If that's where he works, what reason did he have to lie? Pics of the business card was provided to an actual employee of the agency who stated that Mr. S did work for the agency, because the email address checked out. Now after all these school yard games the truth was finally out. After all that work, it is definitely a turn off to have to guess important facts about someone. What does Mr. S have left? One of my motto's is, "If you don't have your word, then you have nothing." For one his character is tarnished. How can he be trusted in the future?

Moral of the story is something you have heard before on this BLOG....YOU DON"T HAVE TO LIE TO KICK IT!! Just tell the truth!! Turns out Mr. S has a pretty nice job, but that doesn't matter because being a LIAR trumps it!

So Ladies if you need to solve a case word to the wise GOOGLE and if that doesn't work feel free to consult with the NO. 1 Ladies Detectives Agency (DMV) office. LOL

SAY WHAT?!?!

Little Gold Diggers in Training!


via WSSH

So check the video above of a recent TYRA episode that will sure make you scratch your head...

People were buzzing about this episode of Tyra in which Mothers discussed teaching their daughters to marry for money. An interesting part in the video was the session with the Psychologist. The young girls were able to discuss why they choose each picture when prompted to decide on different men in different professions. Now I'm pretty sure that everyone wants to be financially secure, but is it right to teach these little girls to marry only based on money. So if a man lays his hand on her, she still should marry him because he is able to provide for her? SMH.

What is the world coming to? Is this the norm in today's society? If you decide to teach your daughter to be a GOLD DIGGER don't broadcast it on National TV. Just keep it a HOME SCHOOL LESSON!!

Do Good Guys Really Finish Last?

We have all heard the saying, “Good Guys Finish Last”! Are there any Good Guys left in this city? If you read my very first post “Sex and the City” (Check it out if you haven’t read it) you understand my take on Single Life in the City. I like to believe I know a few Good Guys (but they don’t count because they’re fam & close friends), but my question still remains where the hell are the Good Guys nowadays?

Let’s all take a trip down memory lane. I remember sitting in elementary school and when a boy liked you he would send you a note asking you to be his Girlfriend and to check YES or NO. Even at a young age if the boy was a bookworm, wore glasses, shy, not that cute, or not in the “IN” crowd I would pass. Even back in Elementary and Junior High School it was the bad boys that caught my attention. The boys always in the principal’s office, dressed to a tee with the fresh sneakers, cutting school, and hanging with the “IN” crowd. Who knew or even thought that the “outsiders” would grow up to outshine the “insiders”. Most of the” insiders” often got lost along the way. Whether it was from the activities that they participated in outside of school or just being concerned with nothing more than being in the “IN” crowd in school.

It seemed that the “outsiders” were the ones who grow up to be doctors, lawyers, and successful in their own right. Remember the Good Guy who stayed to himself and was not as appealing as the bad boy? Well the Good Guy grew up to be a college graduate with a successful career (SMH). Most of the bad boys have about 5 kids, 3 baby mothers, still in the street, or ex-offenders. (Who got the JUICE now? LOL) At times it still seems are if the Bad Boys outnumber the Good Guys. Or is it Good Girls just can’t leave those Bad Boys alone…

There is always an exception to the rule. You can often find a Good Guy being too good and playing SUPERMAN at the same time. The SUPERMAN is a GOOD GUY often masquerading as a superhero. SUPERMAN is in a relationship with a woman (whom he has saved) that is not his equal (in reference to education, careers, goals, and etc) yet he is providing for her and her family. Its like SUPERMAN doesn’t want the successful, savvy, and independent LOUIS LANE. That’s too GOOD to be true. SUPERMAN wants what he wants, but that doesn’t always mean GOOD GIRLS are in the equation.

2010 Winter Olympics

via Associated Press

It's BLACK HISTORY MONTH so we continue to celebrate the many accomplishments of African Americans.

Just wanted to take this moment to SHOUT OUT Mr. SHANI DAVIS of the United States for winning his second GOLD MEDAL in the 1000m Speed Skating event at the 2010 Winter Olympics. Clap for 'em!!! He definitely did his thing today. Mr. Davis made history in 2002 by being the first African American to make an Olympic Speed Skating team.


First Black Olympic Figure Skating Pair

The First Black Olympic Figure Skating Pair made their Olympic debut at the 2010 Winter Olympics. France's Vanessa James and Yannick Bonhuer are the first black duo in Olympic history to compete in Olympic pairs skating. Congrats to the duo for making history!!

Check the video below:



via Youtube

Good Girls Gone Bad...

via WSSH


The Tyra Show has really surprised me during my mini vacation. The show has been airing more in depth topics instead of the usual Top Model reunions and make over shows. I came across this episode while surfing the net. The clip shows a young women who wants to confess to her mother and grandmother that she has been stripping.

Well go ahead and watch the clip. Pay close attention to her mother's reaction. It is truly sad when you have no other way to communicate with others except to bring them on national television to discuss issues and disclose secrets(however in this case I do believe it was done in the public forum for the young woman's protection).

Now I (and others) have been in similar situations. College students with bills, financial obligations, jobs and school work. However, resorting to stripping was not an option (at least for me). It seems that her family is supportive. Her mother even made a statement that she is spoiled. So why is she stripping? Peer Pressure? Or the temptation of the Fast Life? We may never know the real reason, but too often people get caught up in the "life"!! Will she stop once she finishes school, like so many have said before her? I hope that she makes the right decision. She needs to use her education and not her body to excel in life.

You Dont Got To Lie To Kick It!!!

We have made it past Valentine's Day! For the last five years, I have been out of the dating game so Valentine's Day has been just another day for me until yesterday. I'm single! Valentine's Day is not even a holiday that I recognized.

Recently, I have been bombarded by men, all different ages, from all different walks of life. I am clueless as to why within the last four months, I am being pursued so heavily. Of these gentlemen, I've become acquainted with one in particular. Now this gentlemen has presented himself as a single, successful, business man, with no baby mama drama. Does this sound to good to be true? That's because it is too good to be true. While getting to know this man on a more intimate level, I've discovered that he is "divorced", and has "two grown children." Now there goes strike one and two. I could have headed for the hills after learning those things about him, but everyone has a past right? Who am I to judge? I have a past, and have done some things that I should be smacked for, but I have never lied about my past, and I don't present myself falsely. I strongly feel that you do not spill your guts, and tell your whole life story when initially meeting someone, but do not lie. If something comes up that you feel uncomfortable discussing, then say that you don't want to discuss the topic this early into the relationship. Either the person accepts it, or they do not.

One thing I know about men is that they are hunters by nature. When a man sees something he wants he formulates a plan of attack. They use strategic methods to go about getting what they want especially if it is a woman. In order to get that woman, a man will DO ANYTHING, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY! He's going to call everyday all day, take you out, compliment you, and try to fill your head with all kinds of foolery. Now let's fast forward back to my situation: the young man who I previously mentioned above has formulated a plan of attack on me. For the past three months he calls, he compliments, gives gifts, and so on and so forth EXCEPT YESTERDAY! Let me be clear, I don't expect this man to do anything for me, or buy me anything. He just does while he confesses his undying love for me (by any means necessary). So why is it on love day I hear nothing from him until 7:00pm? when he did call do you know what he said, " I was in church and with my mother all day. Also, my sons and I went out for Valentines Day." Sounds like he may be trying to live/lead two different lives. Did I accept his bull? HELL NO! I graciously let him know that he could keep that bulls**t in the commode, and that I will not play the mistress because the only role I play is First Lady!!!

Although I had to go through all of that drama with this one particular man, I did receive quite a few valentines gifts from other gentlemen. So all is not lost. When one apple becomes rotten, you just throw it out of the barrel, and get a new one.

Peace and Love

We Are The World Remake

Here is the highly anticipated "We Are The World" Remake!!

The "We Are The World" remake was organized due to the 25 Anniversary of the original version and Haiti Relief. As we all know, Haiti was hit by a devastating earthquake a month ago. The video was released during the Winter Olympics Opening Ceremonies.

Click the link below to watch the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUhyhpbLRXs

Are you done watching? OK, because I have a lot to say, but because the remake was for a good cause (Haiti Relief) I will refrain from critiquing the video.

Well maybe I will touch on a few things (just a few, I promise). It seemed as if Quincy Jones and Lionel Ritchie wanted to reach out to a vast audience with entertainers from different genres of music (just like the old version). There were moments when I was literally drawing a blank during the video. I was wondering how the hell they made some of the decisions to give people certain parts in the song. For example, why were T-Pain (and Lil Wayne) allowed to use Auto tune on this remake? Didn't Jay-Z lay auto tune to rest? Why was Nicole S. from the Pussycat Dolls (some of you all don't even know who that is) allowed to have a solo part when you have singers like Gladys Knight there?

I personally would take the old version over the new version any day. Give me Micheal Jackson, Ray Charles, Bob Dylan, Stevie and the gang. You all can have T-Pain, Wyclef, Miley Cyrus, and some of the other entertainers on the record.

On another note shout out to Jennifer Hudson, Mary Mary, Bebe Winans, and others that did not disappoint!

So after watching the video, what do you all think? Was I just hating? Was it really good? Or is it a mess?

Soldier of Love

It's that time again. The days of endless hearts, boxes of chocolates and that magic word "LOVE". Are you ready?

You know it's funny, I think this is the first year that I have actually sat down and thought about this holiday. Typically it just goes as a day unnoticed, but it seems the older I get (and the more friends I have that get boo'ed up, engaged or married) this holiday becomes more and more significant. A day that brings smiles and laughter to some, sends others into a depressed state over one thing lacking in their lives, that one thing being love.

Over the past couple of weeks I have asked several people what exactly this day means to them. While the ladies for the most part say that this is a day to celebrate the person or people who mean the most to you, and show them you care. The fellas seem to think that this day is ALL about the ladies. In fact I heard numerous times how unappreciated the men feel on this day. I mean think about it, they have to go out and find the "perfect" gift, only to find that their valentine has in no way shown the same thought or initiative in the gift they receive (sex not included.) As I thought about this, the guys have a point. This day is mostly about the ladies. I mean how many commercials have you seen where the woman is presenting the man with the "gift of his dreams"....I'm waiting....I'll answer for you...you haven't seen one! Unless it's a Sears commercial where she is giving him a new handy dandy tool set! LOL

All I am saying is this I DON'T WANT LOVE AND AFFECTION JUST ONE DAY OUT OF THE YEAR! I want it 365, seven days a week, 24 hours a day! So although I am not in a relationship now...even when my time does come I declare that I will NOT make a big deal out of this ONE day. This year to celebrate I will be sending my closest girlfriends Valentines Cards (if the DMV postal service ever starts running again! lol) For those of you without Valentines DON'T FRET! Make it a day all about YOU! Go buy yourself something nice, and celebrate being the AMAZING PERSON GOD CREATED YOU TO BE! DON'T I repeat DON'T spend the whole day watching sappy movies feeling bad for yourself! You may not have a significant other, but I am almost certain you have multiple people who love and appreciate you every day of the year!!

I have to believe that the ONE is out there somewhere, and you should believe the same! Be like Sade..a Soldier of Love...and fight off the Valentines day blues :)

Black History Month

photo via Amazon

February is Black History Month (as if you didn’t know). Even though we should celebrate or at least acknowledge our history all 365 days of the year, sometimes we lack in that department. Bohemian Helena the Social Butterfly had a very insightful post awhile back (Say It Loud: I’m Black and I’m Proud) on places to visit in order to learn more about Black History. We all have to do our part, because it seems as if the mainstream is not celebrating Black History Month this year (or is it just me) as they have previous years.

I remember the countless BLACK movies running on the TV, activities, school performances, and other observances in the communities and churches during the month of February. One proud moment that I can remember in reference to Black History Month, was winning a Black History Bowl in Junior High School. I studied a huge packet day in and day out (it also helped that I have a photographic memory). All the preparation paid off and helped me beat out the rest of my classmates for the grand prize (hard cold cash).

When I was in elementary school I received a book from my Grandmother about 12 influential African Americans. I was so intrigued by this book. I begin reading it and was determined to finish it in record time. It was no Goosebumps or Babysitters Club, but nonetheless it was interesting. The book was called One More River to Cross: The Story of Twelve Black Americans. The book tells the story of each person with mini biographies. Some are little known while others are notable because of their accomplishments and leadership among the African American community (and in history for that matter). It is a good read, and can be a gift to a child in grade school.

The twelve (12) African Americans profiled in the book include:

Matthew Henson
Crispus Attucks
Marian Anderson
Shirley Chisholm
Malcolm X
Ralph Bunche
Madame CJ Walker
Charles Drew
Ronald McNair (Aggie Pride) ☺
Fannie Lou Hamer
Romare Bearden
Eddie Robinson

So adults were you able to correctly identify each person above? Some you will know automatically, while others may require research. If you knew only 4 out of 12 of the people listed above, that’s a damn shame (LOL). I need you to buy this book from Amazon and get a much-needed Black History Lesson. Just kidding…but all jokes aside if you have children or even if you know school aged children find this book and give as a gift. Encourage OUR children to learn about OUR history and not only American History. “If we don’t know our history, we are bound to repeat it”-

More Black History Facts will follow for the remainder of the Month. Operation Let’s Celebrate Black History Month is in fill swing!!

SAY WHAT?!?!

Who says money can’t buy freedom? In DeWayne “Lil Wayne” Carter’s case it brought him an extra month before he has to report for sentencing in a NYC gun case. Mr. Carter has one hell of a lawyer to walk into sentencing and inform the Judge that Mr. Carter was having dental problems and propose an extension. Either that or the Judge is very thoughtful (or a fan). I can’t help but wonder if his grill is causing the dental problems. Either way Lil Wayne has already had a farewell party (like he’s going away to school or someplace) and recorded a video message to all his fans. So now it seems that he can do it all again at the end of the month.

MTV also released some information about Lil Wayne's new place of residence for the next 8 months to a year. He will not have to cut his dreds as first reported, however he may want to unless Mike Mike and Tay are going to maintain them for him*side eye* Also he has to be in the bed at 10pm and breakfast is as early as 4am (with the rooster). Mr. Carter is allowed a TV with basic channels only (damn, damn, damn, No CABLE) and can watch DVD's. Already seems like a better setup than most facilities. Since everyone is "doing their time these days" When Lil Wayne goes to prison he will join the "Elite Club" of a few or your favorite rappers, entertainers, and athletes.


Side note: Since Lil Wayne is getting the dental surgery done, will he keep his grill when he goes to prison next month?


Check the video of Wayne leaving the Court House. It is not interesting, but I thought it was funny how the camera guy says, “Do your time, don’t let the time do you” LOL


via AP and WSSH

YES OR NO?

Below is a post submitted by a Reader. Read, Respond, and Enjoy!!!

The question still stands to be answered. So many of us take our spouses for granted. I am often reminded of a story of a person whose spouse died in the middle of the night. Each day and night thereafter, the spouse wakes up to no one to talk to, to laugh with or spend time with. For those of us whose spouse is living we often take that spouse for granted. We set them on a nice glass shelf and wait till we need them.

Once we realize we need our spouse we will pull them off that nice glass shelf and blow the dust away. Once the dust is blown away we ask our spouse “what do you want to do today”, so nicely and politely the spouse answers “whatever you would like to do because I know your time is very valuable and soon I will be placed on the glass shelf again, once again whatever you would like to do”. This sounds like the spouse knows the other one very well.

Can you imagine following asleep never to wake again? Let’s not place our spouses aside lets keep them involved in everything we do.

Remember tomorrow is not promised to us, but today is. What will your answer be when thinking about your spouse, to cherish or to place on a shelf?

-C. MOORE

SAY WHAT?!?!

Well here is another SAY WHAT?!?! post due to the foolery that occurs day in and day out around the world. The latest foolery occurred in New York resulting in a 12 year old girl being arrested for doodling on a school desk. Yeah, you read it right, I said DOODLING ON A SCHOOL DESK. Arrested, placed in handcuffs, and led to the local precinct. So we just going to waste time and tax payer dollars on arresting a 12 year old for doodling when there are real criminals to catch?! I would agree that doodling on the desk is a destruction of property, but the punishment did not fit the crime.

Read the description from the NY newspaper, pay close attention to the "erasable marker" part LOL

"A 12-year-old Queens girl was hauled out of school in handcuffs for an artless offense -doodling her name on her desk in erasable marker, the Daily News has learned Alexa Gonzalez was scribbling a few words on her desk Monday while waiting for her Spanish teacher to pass out homework at Junior High School 190 in Forest Hills she said."I love my friends Abby and Faith," the girl wrote, adding the phrases "Lex was here. 2/1/10" and a smiley face. " - NY News

Check the video below to see the foolery:


via WSSH

Pretty Girls!!!

Who is considered a pretty girl? Obviously not plus size women. When you think of a beautiful woman you think about Beyonce, Alicia Keys, and Tyra Banks just to name a few. There are people who truly believe that big is not beautiful. As a plus size woman you have to bring it. As a African American plus size woman, you DEFINITELY have to have it together. There is no room for error when it comes to your appearance, hygiene and so on and so forth. Of course by now you must know that I'm a plus size woman because a skinny bish would not be writing about this issue. I know I do a damn good job keeping up my appearance, and I often get compliments. Compliments are good for peoples self esteem. The issue is when I receive compliments from people (male or female) they always end the compliments with "for a big girl." That drives me crazy. Here are a few of the compliments that I hear often, " You are pretty for a big girl. You smell good for a big girl. You dress nice for a big girl." Once upon a time I felt like I should be grateful for any compliment I receive because if you were big, then you were not beautiful.

When I was growing up, people associated being big as a negative thing. I'm sure everyone remembers the character "Big Shirley" from one of the best sitcoms of all time Martin. Cole got made fun of all the time for being in love with Big Shirley. On the show they made it clear that Big Shirley was big, black and greasy looking. Just flat out unattractive. Why couldn't Big Shirley be fly huh Martin? Why couldn't Queen Latifah, Jill Scott, Jennifer Hudson, or myself (lol) just to name a few portray Big Shirley. There are big beautiful people out here, and we deserve to be complimented regardless of our size. We shouldn't always be categorized as big, stinky, greasy mofos who just don't care about how we look. Some of us do and we go the extra mile to make sure that we are just as fly as the next person.

Don't get me wrong people, a compliment is still a compliment, but compliment a person simply because they deserve the compliment regardless of their size, color, or whatever else.

ALL MY BG'S STAND UP!!! Stay tuned for my next topic; Dating Big Women. Coming Soon!!! Peace and Love

SUPER BOWL XLIV

photo via Reuters

Congrats to the New Orleans Saints for Winning Super Bowl XLIV. Above is the play that sealed the deal!


I will agree with something my brother from another mother said via TWITTER check it out:

"The Saints Super Bowl Parade might be Bigger than MARDI GRAS!! From KATRINA to SUPER BOWL WINNERS...GOD is definitely Blessing the City of New Orleans. -@WesWho


He said it best!! I'm happy for the City of NO, its was just their time and in GOD's plan. However, I would have loved to see my Vikings against the Colts (what have made for an exciting game).

I want to be excited for the Saints, but all the new found fans won't allow me....LOL (let me have my hissy fit)

Shoutout to a real NO girl, who sent me a message saying" WHO DAT say dey gonna beat them SAINTS... SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!!" With hella time left on the clock. It's all good. It was a long time coming.

So Congrats again...well at least until next year, when we do it all again (if there isn't a lock out) *crosses fingers*

SAY WHAT?!?!

So today after the BLIZZARD of 2010 passed, people begin to dig out and survey the damage. Some people in the area finally regained power, while others had to shovel the white stuff that was piled up. All day people patiently waited to see the area closings for Monday. One by one area school districts closed. Still the Federal Employees and the District waited for word on closings or reporting times. It wasn’t until late this afternoon (after many people had already dug out) that OPM posted that the Federal Government would be closed. On the local new channels D.C. Public Schools were listed as No Report then walah…they issued the word, “2-hour Delay”. Are you kidding me? Who would make that decision given the fact that the rest of the area is shut down? Truthfully speaking a lot of DCPS students walk to school, but that still is not safe. Some people have not shoveled their sidewalks and the snow is pretty deep. This will force children to walk in the street in order to make it to school. Walking in the street is dangerous given the fact that most of the streets are not cleared. Where is the logic? Better yet the Common Sense? When I heard that every school district except DCPS was closed, I was pissed. I don’t have children, but I’m big on rational decisions and this was far from one. Why would you have the kiddies out in that mess? C’mon sons (Mayor Fenty and Michelle Rhee). Damn Shame I tell you, when people are in leadership positions and don’t possess any common sense.

I had just stated that I would be writing “An Open Letter to Mayor Fenty Part 2”, because of the foolishness that had occurred. Obviously, I was not the only one upset with the decision to have DCPS open on Monday. From what I hear, people flooded the School Board/Chancellor/DC Government (whoever) with emails about the decision. Power is truly in numbers. After about 4 hours of the 2-hour delay mess, DCPS announced it was closed on Monday. That’s what should have been done in the first place in my opinion. Fenty is skating on thin ice, isn’t it reelection year? I’m just saying he needs to get on everyone’s good side, if you know what I mean. Rule #1 you don’t mess with people’s children. They will surely light fire under your tail. So I guess the fire was lit, because the decision was reversed. NO SCHOOL DCPS!! Enjoy a SNOW DAY on your MAYOR and his trusty pet Chancellor Rhee!

The Question Remains…

Photo via Necolebitchie.com

Below is a post submitted by a reader. Read, Respond, and Enjoy!!


Why do we as woman let the men in our lives get the best of us?

You say you want to be with me but right now isn’t a good time
You say you don’t want a relationship
You say you haven’t forgiven us for things that happened before you
You say you love me
You say I was your first true love
You say I mean the world to you

These are all the things that we as women hear either throughout or at the end of the relationship. The moment a man sees that another man is interested in what you have to offer, they want to be with you. They stop playing all the games and show up unannounced to places in order to express their undying love for you. Women become frustrated with these displays of affection. Just a second ago the man was known for acting like a little boy. Now he can’t accept the fact that another man is taking his place. Majority of the time we (women) have not moved on and we decide to give up on the new love interest for the old one. Deep down inside we really love and care about the old love (guy) and we want it to work. You take all the bad and the good into consideration in order to make the relationship work. The old flame is telling you exactly what you want to hear and you as a woman believe deep down in your heart that this guy is really serious (or is he?). You give him another chance only to find out that he didn’t mean what he said. When it does not work the old flame blames the failed relationship on not being able to forgive or trust you for dealing with the new guy. The sad thing is why should you feel bad when you and the old guy were not even in a committed relationship when the new guy came into the picture.

Now ladies this is a shock to us, because ultimately you let the new guy go for the old guy. You now can see the mistake you have made. Reality is the new guy was probably the one who was willing to do any and everything you wanted the new guy to do. At the end of the day, did you really just fall for this mess again? Ladies were you sticking with the old guy and taking all his bull-ish because you feel as though you owed him? Finally as a woman, you decide that it is better to go separate ways and keep it moving. You decide to make things work with the new guy (yes after all that drama he took you back with open arms). You and the new guy make it work and eventually wed. Yet, you often think of the old guy. Still unable to completely let him go. You continue to talk to the old guy and often confide in him. Deep down inside you still care, but you also know that the old guy still has a lot of growing to do. Do the questions remain or do you do what is best? Now you must do what may be difficult, but all communication must come to an end. In the words of Usher, “Let it Burn”. Live your life stress free and with no regrets. If it didn’t work with the old guy consider it a lesson learned and make it last with the new guy.

-J-BEZZY!!!!!!!!!

The BLIZZARD of 2010!!

Snowtorious B.I.G. and Snowpocalypse are just a few names for the Snow Storm via the people on TWITTER. People in the DMV haven’t seen a storm like this since 2003 and 1996. We all remember the Blizzard of 1996. It was so significant that I actually went out to play in the snow. The last couple of days have been mass hysteria (somewhat). The grocery store shelves were bare and no shovels in sight. My local store didn’t even restock the shelves; they actually stocked the boxes so you could help yourself. We have heard the stories of the long lines in the stores, yet we still had to venture out to grab the necessities. You know the bread, milk, toilet tissue, and other items people say you need to survive through the storm. Can we stay SNOW EMERGENCY? Lets not forget about the people who are still going out for reasons that are not classified as an emergency. If the snowplows are getting stuck, that means that common folk with anything less than 4wd should not be on the roads. Be safe during the storm and shovel with caution.

My survival kit for this weekend includes:

Food
Snacks
Wii Fit
Video Games
DVDs
OnDemand
Trusty Mac Book
Books
Magazines
Vision Board
Blackberry
Online Shopping
Sleeping
Cleaning
Skyping
IPod
ITunes

Lastly, Friends and Family!!

That’s just some of the things that I hope will keep me entertained. I hope you have something or someone to keep you entertained. Everyone will have cabin fever after this weekend. You wont be able to keep me in the house for the next couple of weekends (as if I stayed home before).

P.S. For those that are not in the DMV and say that we are overreacting and it will melt, thanks for the concern. Of course we know it will melt, but we are stuck in it now!! It has paralyzed the area. We see storms like this every few years, yet this year we have been plummeted by the snow. So leave us alone and let us deal/cope with the snow storm our own way. Thanks.

Change is Constant...

Cant bring back what use to be
Life don't stay the same thinking bout what use to be
Everything changes (life always changes)
Everything changes...changes - Ledisi

As I sit back and think about life and all of it's many ups and downs I see that there is truly only ONE thing that has remained the same. Things are CONSTANTLY CHANGING!

Take you for example...think about the dramatic changes that have occurred in you physically from high school to now. Your hair is different, make-up is different, your style of dress...oh and lets not forget the extra WEIGHT you've picked up! Scary...isn't it? But we are the perfect examples of change!

How about your friendships? Remember the people you grew up with...do you all still hang together? Or the people who your promised to keep in touch (KIT) with in your senior yearbook..when is the last time you called? Over the years does it seem like your "circle of friends" has gotten a little tighter?

Then lets not forget the magic word...LOVE! Has your definition remained the same? Think about your first love. They were EVERYTHING you thought you wanted out of life...now...think about when it ended. I bet your definition of what it meant to be in love changed, didn't it?

I say all of this to say that as we continue to grow and evolve our thoughts and definitions of friendship, relationships, and love will CONSTANTLY change. The question is that if change is something that we all know happens, why do we fight it? Why is change one of the most difficult concepts for us to accept?

Ledisi's new CD "Turn Me Loose" has the recurring theme of life changes with songs like "Everything Changes" "Going Thru Changes" and "Them Changes". I challenge you the next time you start to feel things in your life taking new form..DON'T FIGHT IT! We were put on this earth to constantly learn, change and evolve. EMBRACE IT! Be Blessed :)

Say it LOUD: I’m BLACK and I’m PROUD

(Image courtesy of Google Images)

2010 is a year of new beginnings and lifestyle changes. It should also be a time for us to reflect on our history and how far we’ve come. February is observed as Black History Month, however we should celebrate our heritage 365. One thing my family does every month is acknowledge/celebrate the life of an African American who has fought for our freedom/civil rights. This is not limited to the people who have made history, but also our own ancestors. If you live in the metropolitan area there are lots of things you can do and places to visit. Here is a list of attractions to check out not only this month but also year around:

(Image courtesy of Scurlock collection & National Museum of American History)

Visit the National Museum of American History to get a glimpse of Black Washington through the lens of African-American photographer Addison Scurlock.

http://americanhistory.si.edu/exhibitions/exhibition.cfm?key=38&exkey=1260

(Image courtesy of Reginald F. Lewis Museum of Maryland African American History & Culture)

The Reginald F. Lewis Museum of Maryland African American History & Culture is one of the largest African American museums on the east coast. Located in downtown Baltimore, this museum has some of the greatest permanent and temporary exhibitions in the US. Some of them include: Freedom Sisters, Graphic works by Romare Bearden, and Beyond Swastika and Jim Crow: Jewish Refugee Scholars at Black Colleges.

http://www.africanamericanculture.org/home.html

(Image courtesy of Frederick Douglass-Issac Myers Maritime Park)

Another great place to visit is the Frederick Douglass-Issac Myers Maritime Park. Located in historical Fells Point, this one of the many places a young Fredrick Douglass frequented as a child and a place where Southern Blacks came seeking housing and employment.

http://www.douglassmyers.org/

If you want to find stuff to do year around click on the link below: http://www.baltimore.org/africanamerican/downloads/AAHAG_Brochure.pdf

Time Is Of The Essence....DONT WASTE IT!!!

Last summer (I remember it like it was yesterday,) I called my friend Dexter to consult him about a "man issue" I was having. This was not unusual, as I always called him when I needed an ear to listen and good sound advice. As always Dexter sat and listened to every detail as I gave him the "run down" on this guy..he never interrupted he just took it all in before rendering his verdict on the case I was presenting. His verdict (which ALWAYS seemed to be the same *smile*) was that I was "TOO DAMN PICKY". After discussing the situation a little longer we gave the usual "I'll call you RIGHT back" and got off the phone..only to play phone tag for the rest of the evening. Little did I know this conversation would be my last with my friend. The next day Dexter was involved in a fatal motorcycle accident which took him away from us far too soon.

When I first heard the news about Dexter's passing I was CRUSHED (and even that word is not an accurate description of the heartache I felt.) I didn't understand WHY God would allow this to happen! Dexter didn't deserve to die...he was young, a great father, and getting ready to finish school that fall.

After questioning God, I then remembered how the weekend before his death Dexter tried getting in contact with me. I spoke with him briefly then quickly got off the phone as I was rushing to get on the road to Chicago. Then (and this was the hardest pill to swallow,) I remembered that my LAST conversation with my friend was about some guy who wouldn't even matter in a months time! How could I be so selfish? A conversation where I could have told him how much I loved and appreciated his friendship, and I spent it talking about someone who could have cared less!

I am writing this in hope that one of you will take a lesson from me and STOP WASTING TIME by entertaining the thoughts, people and situations that don't really matter. I know (more than anyone right now) how difficult this can be. We all lead these busy lives where we are constantly faced with situations and can become overwhelmed with the thoughts of what our reactions should be. I challenge you the next time you feel a situation starting to overwhelm you, to call your friend and instead of only talking about YOUR problems..tell them how much you love and appreciate them. I will never get that last conversation back with Dexter, and as for the guy I was talking to him about...haven't spoken with him since (go figure.)


DON'T WASTE TIME...SPEND YOUR TIME WORRYING ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO TRULY MATTER! Be blessed! And Dexter...continue to look down on us...I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ALWAYS :)

D.C. Drug Dealer's Son Has Same Name, Different Reputation

Today I was sent an article that was featured in the Washington Post about a young man named Tony Lewis. As I read the article it became evident that Mr. Lewis had an interesting story. We have all heard of the generational and family curses that plague people, especially those from the inner city. Young people tend to believe that they are destined to follow in the foot steps of their family members even if those footsteps lead to a life of crime, destruction, incarceration and/or even death. It is truly a proud moment when someone is successful despite the adversity they may have faced along the way.

I encourage you to click the link below to read the story of Mr. Tony Lewis. It is truly a good read (now would I steer you wrong?!)

via Washington Post

http://tinyurl.com/yeeozxa

Here is a Poem that embodies the story perfectly.

INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley