Everybody Meet Ms/Mr Me Too!!!

Don't you hate it when you have a idea and your friend, or someone who is in your immediate circle takes it, and claims it as their own? What about that person who copies every thing you do? Or that person that ALWAYS knows something about everything!!! Well let me introduce you to Ms/Mr. Me Too!

We all have them whether they are friends, or relatives, everybody has someone who swagga jacks their style. To all them people that say imitation is the highest form of flattery, that's Bullshit and you know it! Everyone has their own genetic makeup. Even twins have their own identity! No two people think exactly the same, share the same exact morals and values, or have the same exact sense of style. EVERYBODY is different. Your characteristics define who you are, and mines define me. It's ok for you to be you, but it's not cool for you to try and be me. Only I can be me, and vice versa.

So I ask myself, "Self, where does this sickness start?" It starts from the time the doctor delivers you. It starts with your parents. You see, a person only mimics what they like. If you do not like yourself, then you will mimics someone, or something that you think you like. Oh that is right people this sickness stems from self hatred. When we are children, it is our parents job to make sure that we love ourselves. They are suppose to stroke our little egos, deposit encouragement, motivation, and love into our mental. They are supposed to make sure that we are in stable environments, and around well rounded people. It's true what they say folks, the apple does not fall far from the tree. People only do what they know to do. If your parent/parents grew up hating themselves then how can they teach you that it is OK to like yourself. It is okay to be who you are. Love yourself. They will only pass that self hatred on.

Fast forward... You grow up, meet different people, and do different things. You got a couple of circles you hang around. You got your close friends, work friends, and your random associates. Of these folks, there will be at least one that will copy the hell out of you. They will start adopting your way of thinking, your sense of style, and the way you just live your life. If you only have one consider yourself lucky because I damn sure have had quite a few in my lifetime. As I write this post I have two mini-mes. (smdh) One is younger than me, and the other is way older. The youngest one behavior is just plain sickening. (As Ms. GreenTea would say) She copies all of my hairstyles, and just the small things I do. She pretends to like what I like just so it appears that we coincidentally have the same things in common. The oldest one, she knows about everything, and CLAIMS that she can do anything, and done everything. Every time I come up with a idea she steals it, and will act just like the idea blossomed in her very own head! She also mimics my style. If I do something to my hair, she does the same thing to her hair. If I wear my make up a certain way, then she does it. Initially I did not mind, but as different folks started to bring it to my attention you both did this, and you both said that, it started to irritate me.

Now I will be the first to say admit that this issue seems so small. Should it even matter? Hell yeah it matters! When it happens to you, then you will be right in my corner saying Amen. I bet the lady from the movie Single White Female did not think that the fact that some chick was trying to steal her damn life was small. We all have our own style. I do not want to go out with my girls, and one has the same outfit, or the same damn hairstyle!!! No woman wants that. Fellas if you just brought the car of your dreams, and had it custom made, you would not want your boy to be pulling up beside you with the same damn whip, with the same interior.

The beef that is brewing between Nicki Minaj, and Lil Kim is a prime example. I am a HUGE fan of Lil Kim. I also like Nicki Minaj a great deal. Kim is upset because she feels that Nicki is biting her style. Nicki has said she look up to Kim a great deal of times, and that Kim inspires her. How many times, and how long does Kim want Nicki to pay homage the world may never know. But I am going to share with you the reason why Kim is really in her feelings. Kim is pissed because the same shit Nicki is doing now, Kim has already done, if not more. Kim was the first female rapper to talk about sexing, and murdering while oozing sex appeal. She did the different color wigs, tight clothing basically the same thing you see Nicki doing now. Kim got her panties in a bunch because it really bothers her that not only does she feels Nicki is biting her style, but people are going crazy over Nicki like they never seen anybody like her before.

I want to leave you with these encouraging words. Love Yourself, Be Yourself, and be True to Yourself. Peace and Love

BLACK LOVE is a Beautiful Thing and is still ALIVE!!

So I didn't think my mini vacay to Vegas for the Mayweather vs. Mosley fight could be topped (this year that is), but boy was I wrong!!!! This past week I had the pleasure of attending a wedding in the Bahamas. I was on hand to witness the Union of Donrien Stephens and Carline Claudomir. It was a beautiful beach wedding in Nassau, Bahamas. The wedding party and guests came together for a cruise to the Bahamas in order to attend and celebrate in this joyous occasion with the couple. It was so refreshing to meet wonderful and warm people during my stay(we had fun times indeed). I was honored that Carline and Donrien invited me to witness such an important milestone in their lives.

Now after attending the wedding I started to think (as all great minds do lol)Does Real Love even exist anymore? Better yet does Black Love still exist? Does it survive obstacles, Distance and Time? (maybe its not a good idea to quote A.Keys given her home wrecking status j/k). When in the presence of real love, you can feel the love, sincerity, and genuineness the couple emits. Some people tend to say that BLACK LOVE is dead, well I'm here to put that ish to rest (for now that is LOL). I experienced first hand the real BLACK LOVE that we tend to overlook.

It seems we are moving to fast to notice lasting relationships these days. When I say "moving to fast" I mean the social networking, texting, emails, speed dating and etc. What happened to the meaningful conversations either face to face or over the telephone? What happened to getting to know someone inside and out? Not just by looking at their Facebook profiles and taking notes! (that doesn't count) Now I will be the first to admit that I don't like talking to people (no really), however I do believe that some things are necessary to build lasting relationships. I think if a person makes the interaction worth while then people will be willing to put in the work. Most people barely know their mates these days and when you began to see the "real" person it is often too late. (Let's not forget that GOOGLE is a hell of a tool use it).

I know in the past (past blogs) I have "went in" on men in general and the single life, but some things are a bit clearer after this wedding *epiphany*. People just don't stay married for 50 years anymore like our Grandparents did so effortlessly (at least it looked that way ;-)). Is that because we are quitters? Are we not willing to fight for love? I would say so because of all the outsider factors that we use to distract us when we should be fighting for love. You know the friends who are the peanut gallery and/or you may think the grass is greener on the other side (well it aint). These small factors can create big problems and lead to Splitsville. In order to avoid these pitfalls you have to put your best foot forward. It is also as simple as saying "You get out what you put in" (or something like that, yall know the saying). So to those of us still looking for BLACK LOVE or LOVE in general, it seems that there is still hope for us if we are willing to work for it. Donrien and Carline's hard work paid off! Are you willing to work? I sure am!! *raises hand*

It warms my soul to see real Love and even more to see BLACK LOVE. "Keep Hope Alive" as Jesse would say, but I am in no rush. Patiently awaiting the next wedding invitation (accepting invites) to experience BLACK LOVE up close and personal once again.

Shout out to all my new HOMIES I met during the Wedding Festivities. We had a ball and it was certainly a pleasure. Thanks again to Mr. & Mrs. Stephens for the invite. Congrats on a journey to a LIFETIME OF LOVE!!!

Spotlight: ELEGANT CREATIONS

So the Summer is vastly approaching and we know what that means right?! Of course we do. Summer brings WEDDINGS, PARTIES, and other CELEBRATIONS, but why stress over every detail (locations, guest list, and etc) when you can find an experienced professional to plan your BIG DAY!!! Well today must be your LUCKY DAY, because I have the perfect person for you. Today, I am spotlighting someone who loves to make others happy, while planning the events that will have your guest still talking about it for months to come. Tiffany Balmer is the owner of Elegant Creations Event Planning in Charlotte, NC. Read her bio below and let her assist you with planning your next event.

Tiffany Renee Balmer holds a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Journalism and Mass Communications for North Carolina A&T State University. She has always enjoyed organizing events and has a keen eye for detail. These gifts led her into the world of event planning. After working for a top event planning/sports marketing company for three years, Tiffany became an Assistant Event Planner at Elegant Creations and loved every minute of it. Because of Tiffany's hard work and dedication, it was no surprise when she became owner of Elegant Creations. She feels very fortunate to live out her dream and make other people's dreams come true. Making people happy has always been on top of her list and now she has a company to prove it. Elegant Creations number one goal is to make all events memorable and exactly what the client requested. Tiffany specializes in turning ideas on paper into magical events; she tells every client IF YOU DREAM IT, MY TEAM AND I WILL DELIVER IT. Tiffany's passion and experience will guarantee an event which exemplifies Elegance, Style, and Grace.

Please take the time to visit her website www.tlcelegantcreations.com or email her about any event ideas at events@tlcelegantcreations.com



YOUR PERFECT EVENT IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER!!

You're on Candid Camera!!!

via Fox News

Very sad situation. Video of Police Brutality on the campus of University of Maryland. It seems to be very common these days, but most people are not lucky enough to catch the violent attack on video (I'm about to buy my FLIP camera any day now). After UMD beat Duke (NCAA Basketball) the students took to the streets (not rare) and started to loot and basically "wild out". The video shows a male being closed in by the police in riot gear, and all of a sudden the police proceed to assault/attack the victim.

Fox 5 news (WTTG) reported that the FBI is investigating the incident. Chief Hylton of the PG County Police department stated that one of the officers involved has been suspended for making false claims in the charging documents. The charging documents stated that the victim struck the officers and a horse (really?!?!) which led to the beating. The news also reported that the victim has obtained legal counsel and plans to sue the police department.

Source: Fox 5 News

Reality TV Round-Up

April is the unofficial month for Must See TV (or not)!

First let's start with Brandy's and Ray's "Family Business". It seems like Ray J is tired of looking for LOVE and has decided to incorporate the whole family for a bigger pay off. The show is suppose to show "Momanager" Sonia Norwood taking a step back to show her kids the business and let them have more control of their careers. It is known that people in the business do not want to work with Ray J and Brandy because of their Mom. Not sure if this show will hold my attention through the season. It seemed like a big cry fest by Brandy as the show goes on. The show comes on Sundays at 9pm

Next is "Basketball Wives" brought to us by Shaunie O'Neal (ex-wife of Shaq O'Neal). The show airs on Sundays at 10pm. The show features about 5-6 even though only two of them are wives (current). Some of the players are less known other than Antoine Walker, Shaq, and Dwight Howard. Dwight Howard has a "Gag Order" on Royce who is featured as a NBA dancer when in actuality she is his child's mother (that is drama within itself, whew child). The show is supposed to be an inside look into the lives of the wives and all the drama outside the limelight. If you are looking for foolery and drama at its best. Tune in or catch up at the water cooler.

Up third we have "What Chilli Wants" staring TLC member Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas. She is looking for love with the help of Tionna Smalls and self help author. It is a power struggle because Chilli wants the "right man" has to meet her criteria. Chilli has a list which consists of a non-pork eating, non-smoking, non-drinker, no more than 2 baby mamas and no tattoo having gentleman. (Yea I know the list is off the chain). Chilli has had two previous relationships with "industry" dudes that include super producer Dallas Austin and Usher Raymond. In my opinion it seems that Chilli is digging Money Mayweather (Floyd Mayweather), but until then she will entertain the prospect of finding her "Mr. Right" with the help of Tionna who thinks Chilli is too damn picky.

Catch these new shows on VH1 on Sundays!!

The 5 Love Languages

Today I was involved in an interesting discussion about "The 5 Love Languages" (some of you may be familiar with this topic). My co-worker enlightened the group on a discussion/lecture that she said was very interesting. "The 5 Love Languages" is a New York Times best seller. The author is Gary Chapman who has over 30 years of experience as a marriage counselor. According to Mr. Chapman, the "love language" is the primary way of expressing and interpreting love. Here is the outline of the "5 Love Languages".


"I feel especially loved when..."

1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION- People express how grateful they are for me. and for the simple everyday things I do.

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important–hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. QUALITY TIME- A person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me.

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there–with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby–makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3. RECEIVING GIFTS- A person brings me grits and other tangible expressions of love.

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous–so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4. ACTS OF SERVICE- Someone pitches in to help me, perhaps by running errands or taking on my household chores.

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. PHYSICAL TOUCH- A person expresses feelings for me through physical contact.

This language is not all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face–they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Do any of these describe when you feel most loved? If so, which best describes you?

To learn more about The 5 Love Language, take a good look at Gary Chapman’s best-selling book, The Five Love Languages.

Also check out the website at www.5lovelanguages.com

I am...

Every morning I have the same routine. I get to work, log into my computer and immediately open up my e-mail. Well, every morning it never fails I have a message from the "System Administrator" telling me my mailbox has exceeded it's storage space limit. Every morning I get frustrated, wondering how I can have plenty of space the day before when I leave..but when I get back in the morning I have "exceeded my limit"

Well today before I left work, I decided to look and see what types of old "junk" I have been keeping in my e-mail. Thinking that maybe if I go through and delete some things I wont have the same daily e-mail waiting for me in the morning. As I sorted through my e-mail I came to a realization. It's really difficult for me to admit to this, so bare with me :) I realized, while going through my e-mail inbox that I am indeed a "HOARDER".

I'm not the type of hoarder you see on that television series. You will NEVER find a dead cat in my home, bed bugs taking over my bed, or rotten food in my bedroom. What I hoard is far WORSE than that. You see those things I mentioned before can be cleaned and taken care of much easier than what I hold onto. I hoard negative e-mails and the past hurt they caused. Let me explain.

If someone says something I consider mean in an e-mail (business and/or personal) I feel like I cant get rid of it. I use it as a constant reminder of WHY I am upset or hurt. I had e-mails from the beginning of this year from someone who hurt my feelings. I saved all of his e-mails and all of the e-mails from my friends discussing how hurt I was about the situation. I sat there at my desk (as I have done before) and read each and every one of those e-mails. A situation that I considered "dead" and that I claimed no longer affected me, seemed to take life and form all over again. Reading those e-mails made me feel like I was taking 20 steps in the wrong direction of my positive thinking quest.

This isn't the first time I have displayed this behavior. I once kept hurtful e-mails from someone for 5 years. Every time I went into my inbox to delete the messages, I ended up reading them, reliving them and keeping them. One day I decided it was time to put a stop to my madness, but I couldn't seem to do it myself. I gave a friend of mine my password and asked him to delete ALL of the e-mails that I had saved from this particular person (I even had a folder smdh). He deleted the e-mails, and I finally felt free from that past. Until I logged onto that same account weeks later and realized that he had forgotten to delete ONE last e-mail...and guess what, I haven't deleted it as of today...and that was over 2 years ago.

My hoarding habits have become detrimental to my future. Just like my e-mail inbox I have "exceeded my mental limit". Reliving the past has been keeping me in this place I don't want to be! I cant be happy if I continue to hold onto all of the negative things people say or do to me. I have to GET RID OF IT! That said, tomorrow when I go into work I am going to face those e-mails head on...and finally let go and DELETE them...no more reliving what could have been, what was or questioning why.

*standing up* My name is Chay, and I am a RECOVERING hoarder of all things negative. It stops here, NOW.

Now think to YOURSELF, what is it that YOU are holding onto that is preventing you from being the BEST YOU?

Be Blessed!

SAY WHAT?!?!

"The World is Yours"




Came across this foolery on World Star Hip Hop. It is a school production of "Scarface". Yes, I said "Scarface" and not Romeo & Juliet or any other school play. Which school district/state approved this production? SMH Out of all the literary pieces/works and stage plays in the world, this is what they choose to perform?! No wonder the children today are growing up with no direction. "Scarface" is such a GREAT *air quotes* movie for all the stans, but in my opinion children that age should not even be exposed to that movie. The baffling part is when the parents stood up with a roaring applause at the end. *blank stare*

So Thats How You Feel Mr. Bush?

via WSSH


Above is a clip of a video circulating around the net with Former President George Bush greeting Haitians. Now in the clip it shows Mr. Bush shaking hands with the people, but wait did you catch the part where he wiped his hand on Former President Clinton's shirt. Well the clip was nice enough to slow it down and play it again, just in case you missed it.

It is a shame that he feels so strongly that he had to wipe his hand off immediately after making contact with the Haitians. Now I am one who does not like germs, but this did not seem the case. He had every intent to wipe his hand after shaking hands with the people in the crowd.

I guess it was true what Kanye said about Mr. Bush and Black people...

Breakup to Makeup...Or Is It?

So the Blog World has been buzzing over the last few weeks about BREAKUPS in the industry. Ms. Chay gave you a little insight on the Monica and Rocko breakup and how Monica was carrying herself with class when discussing Rocko. Monica has had her share of ups and downs when it comes to relationships and dealing with them in the public eye. I just love Monica and her new CD is classic Monica at her best, so check it out!!

Then there is the Reggie and Kim K fiasco. Now personally I can not stand these two in the media because they both are hungry for attention. Even when poor Reggie won the Superbowl, Kimmie could not let him have the spotlight alone. OH NO, they had to share it!! However, last week rumors were circulating that the two broke up. Not to mention around the time of the SUPERBOWL a video with a JUMPOFF giving a tour of Reggie's home was going around the net. (Drama, Drama, and more Drama).

While on TWITTER today, I was hit with a bombshell!!!! Lance Gross and Eva Pigford (America's Next Top Model winner) broke up!! Last time I checked these two were happily engaged and planning a wedding. The wedding date was set for some time in July. For those who don't know Eva Pigford is better known as "Eva the Diva" she was the winner of America's Next Top Model a few years back. Lance plays Calvin on "House of Payne" and was in the movie "Our Wedding" with American Ferrera and Forest Whitaker. By the way, the ladies and I went to see the movie and enjoyed it. One girlfriend in particular kept referencing to needing a TALL GLASS OF LANCE GROSS aka Chocolate Milk. Awww, but hey now Ms. Chay has a real chance lol. By the way if you think I'm making this ish up, please check the source below. Essence broke the exclusive news!! SMH I really loved them as a couple.

http://www.essence.com/entertainment/breaking_news_1/eva_marcille_lance_gross_breakup.php

After this news hit the fan, Ms. Chay asked who was next? Hmmm the world may not know now, but will another one bite the dust? It is like an episode of "As the World Turns" here today, gone tomorrow. Oh well and life goes on!! As Jay-Z would say, "ON TO THE NEXT ONE"

Be a CLASS ACT!

Ms.Greentea was speaking about the singer Monica a couple of weeks ago,and referred to her as a "class act." She was referencing how Monica decided to handle her breakup with fiance Rocko. For those of you who dont know, after years of dating and becoming engaged Monica and Rocko split. It has been reported that the split was due to Rocko's unfaithful behavior.

Instead of blasting Rocko, and assassinating his character (like many of us would have done) Monica chose the "high road". She hasnt said a negative word about her former fiance. Whenever asked about the specifics of the breakup Monica's answer is that her and Rocko will do whatever is necessary to ensure her children are provided for.

This got me thinking, many times we dont take into consideration what the "classy way" of handeling a situation may be. It certainly isnt the yelling, fussing and cussing that we have all become accustomed to (myself included). This all goes back to my previous post about focusing on the positive. It's so important for us to THINK about our actions, before we carry them out. In the infamous words of Whitley Gilbert "Relax, Relate, Release!" Monica could have very well blasted Rocko for his "extracurricular activities", but instead she praised him. Said how much of a wonderful man and father he is. I think we can all take a lesson from Ms. Monica! BE A CLASS ACT ladies! Dont bash him...we all make decisions without thinking at times. DONT STAY IN THE SITUATION, but walk away from it with the lesson learned. Realizing that although one man couldnt stay true, Mr. Right is on his way in a matter of time. :)


P.S. MAKE SURE YOU PICK UP MONICA'S NEW CD :) Still Standing!

The POWER of POSITIVE thinking

This past January while everyone was making and attempting to keep their New Years resolutions, I was totally against having one at all! I was going through one of life's many lessons and had begun to feel kind of "down and out." It was showing through my demeanor, my conversations and through my facebook and twitter statuses and updates. This totally negative (or what I thought to be negative) situation, had totally affected my mood. It was then that my Aunt sent me a message challenging me. The challenge was to only speak POSITIVE thoughts for 30 days.

At first I was totally against this challenge. People who know me know that at times I can be a fireball. I had always been the type of person to bottle up my emotions, and then one day just SNAP! I would say hurtful things...and basically just say whatever it was that I had been holding in. To go 30 days without saying a negative thought to me seemed almost IMPOSSIBLE. Nevertheless, I accepted...and began my "Positive Binge".

The first few days were difficult. As I said I was experiencing a situation that was all but positive as far as I was concerned. Trying to only speak positive words was...HARD. I started by only posting positive and inspirational Facebook statuses. Hey, it seems small but it was a huge step for me. Each day being positive got a little easier. I had some MAJOR road blocks, but instead of doing my usual "lashing out" routine, I remained quiet and tried to reinforce the positive in the situation. The most amazing part of this 30 day experience was that people started to SEE a visible change in ME!

I say all of this to make this point. You may NOT be capable of changing your situation (it is what it is) HOWEVER, you CAN change your outlook on your situation. Instead of looking at the easy negative in a situation (ex. I cant believe he/she acted that way) look at the positive (ex. THANK GOD that I got out of that one quick! Now I know his/her character and can move on.) Your POWER is in your THOUGHTS so why not make them positive?

As someone who now realizes how much of a negative person I had become, I can honestly say that my new outlook is helping me to be a BETTER friend, sister, daughter, co-worker, etc. Every morning I start my day with two positive affirmations about my life. If you don't think positive for yourself...who will?

I encourage you to THINK and BE more positive! I guarantee with a little work you will become so much happier! Besides, in all honesty your negative situations/circumstances aren't nearly as bad as you think!

Be Blessed!

Sex Addiction Exposed

via WSSH

Winston Bennett is a former NBA player who played with the Cleveland Cavaliers in the 80's and current Head Coach of the Mid-Continent University Men's Basketball team. Recently, Mr. Bennett came forward to discuss his 20 year addiction to sex.

In the video Mr. Bennett discussed how his addiction to sex dictated his life. He admitted to sleeping with 90 women per month before he was married. After getting married things did not change much, he admitted to sleeping with another woman the day after he was married. Mrs. Bennett has contracted two Sexual Transmitted Diseases over the years and knew about the infidelity, but through it all she stayed in the marriage.

In my opinion this is a sad story, however I am glad that the couple is leaning on their religion and the LORD to get through this trying time in their marriage. I hope Mr. Bennett can use his coping skills and support system to overcome his addiction.

We have become a little more familiar with the term "sex addiction" due to the Tiger Woods scandal. Due to the numerous partners (that came out of hiding) that Tiger had relations with he was labeled (or labeled himself) as a sex addict. Tiger decided to seek treatment for his addiction to sex in order to move on with his life.

Sex addiction is when someone has uncontrollable urges to engage in the act of sex. Obsession with sex, intense sex drives, and actions (sex related) that interfere with everyday activities and daily tasks should be considered a problem. (Medicinenet.com)

Some behaviors associated with Sex Addiction:

* Compulsive masturbation (self-stimulation)
* Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)
* Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands
* Consistent use of pornography
* Unsafe sex
* Phone or computer sex (cybersex)
* Prostitution or use of prostitutes
* Exhibitionism
* Obsessive dating through personal ads
* Voyeurism (watching others) and/or stalking
* Sexual harassment
* Molestation/rape

There are also support groups such as Sex Addicts Anonymous that helps addicts on the Road to Recovery.

Anywho I don't want to go into a PSYCHOLOGY lesson, but I just wanted highlight an interesting story in the news this week. Check the video (if you haven't already)! Let me know what you think in the COMMENT section.

Girl POWER!

I stumbled upon this article while browsing Essence.com (on of my favs!) I hope they have a winning season! This is just another example of how us ladies are capable of ANYTHING we put our minds to :)

Black Woman Named High School Football Coach - Essence.com

SAY WHAT?!?!

Howard Stern talking ish again! This time it is about Precious star, Academy nominated actress, Gabourey Sidibe. Howard throws insults at Gabby and her career in Hollywood. Howard is heard in the audio referring to Gabby as the "ENORMOUS FAT BLACK CHICK".

I'm so sick of tired of lame ass HOWARD STERN (and Rush Limbaugh) trying to "come for" people. They both need to go sit their old tails down somewhere. It's kind of getting old and they aren't getting any younger. ON TO THE NEXT ONE...

Shout out to Robyn (sarcastically) who continues to verbally throw jabs at Gabourey Sidibe. Well damn! As a black woman she could have showed a little respect. I guess that would have been too much like right. Ms. Robyn is not trying to bite the hand that feeds her. I do remember when Robyn was a bit on the plump side. I guess losing a little weight gives you a brand new attitude. Any who the both of them should be ashamed of themselves, but who am I fooling its Show Business!

SAY WHAT?!?!

via Google Images

Back Shots?!?!

First off get your heads out of the GUTTER!! Well maybe just a little, because this post is definitely about backsides. How far are women willing to go to get a fuller backside? A couple of months ago, Tyra had two guests who came on the show to discuss their experience with cosmetic surgery. The two women participated in BLACK MARKET surgery to enhance their bottoms (butts, ass, or whatever else you like to call it). Both women were rushed to the hospital after receiving butt enhancement shots. The shots caused serious complications and side effects. While on the show neither women could sit due to pain and lumping in the buttocks.

Recently, a story hit the net about 6 women who needed medical care after being injected with a substance containing the same material as caulk (white substance used to seal openings like areas around bathtubs). Well damn! Talk about a bootleg job! The lengths people will go to achieve the "ultimate look".

Below is a link to the full story. Read and Respond. Are people going to far to enhance their appearance?

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/03/black-market_cosmetic_surgerie.html

Video of the News coverage

Greatest Rapper of All Time?!

The Lovely Ladies at THE DAILY CUP OF TEA ♥ WALE (even though one on the team has issues about his Pretty Girls video) and his music. Wale recently represented the DMV well on ESPN's 1st and 10. During the segment Wale and Skip Bayless had an debate about whether JAY-Z is the Greatest Rapper of All Time. Now I am a Jay-Z Stan (fan) and would choose him any day as the Greatest. I think WALE did an excellent job debating his point and staying on the BOSS' good side LOL. I agree with Wale's argument not because Jay's my favorite, but because it is true. Wale says that Jay does not have to hop around the stage to interact and win over the audience. Jay is very charismatic and charming, which comes across on the stage. Beyonce even said that she has to go on stage and work (dance, roll on the floor, swing her hair) and all Jay has to do is throw up the ROC sign and the crowd goes wild. One year I invited a non-believer to a Jay-Z concert and to this day she says, "Jay puts on a good concert, he's a good performer" I guess I converted her to a Jay-Hova believer ;-). If you haven't been to a Jay concert make it your business to get to one in the near future. It is worth the dough!

Check the video below of the debate! Tell me who you believe is the Greatest Rapper of All Time




WSSH

SAY WHAT?!?!

Please look at this video below and tell me what in the HELL is going on? It seems Manny Pacquiao has a new hobby. If he don't go SIT DOWN and get ready for his upcoming fight with Clottey!!! He can't be serious about this new venture. He sounded a HOT MESS!! Now I'm through ranting so check the video below.



via WSSH

Mayweather vs. Mosley

The Mayweather vs. Mosley fight is scheduled for May 1st. The highly anticipated fight will take place at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, NV. Now let's talk about how the tickets damn near sold out in about 15 minutes(sheesh)! The only option left are the tickets priced at $1250 (well damn!) Vegas will be packed the weekend of the fight and it will definitely go down.

I'm rooting for Mayweather! I've been a fan since the 90's (partially because he was cute LOL) when he was rapping, "My name is Mayweather, that's the name on my trunks in Black and Leather" (classic). In my book he is pound of pound the best! Mosley did call Mayweather out at the Marquez fight. So it was only right to handle it in the ring. Mayweather is known to be cocky, arrogant, and rude. Mayweather explained how the press conference got a bit heated when Mosley touched his hands even though they were nose to nose (waiting on this footage to be released). This fight is motivating me to get back into boxing, still looking for a good gym in the area.

The video below just displays some of the foolery. Mayweather interrupts Mosley as he is being interviewed by the press! Gotta love it! I can't wait for the 24/7 episodes to begin and the real event takes place. Keeping my fingers crossed for tickets!




Oh and by the way, We winning in 2010!! ALL WE DO IS WIN, WIN, WIN!!

Calling All HOMEWRECKERS!!

So I was done with reporting on HOMEWRECKERS after my last post on the subject about a month ago. Well at least I thought so until I heard some foolery on the radio over the weekend. If any of my readers reside in the DMV they have probably heard this promotion by now. Let me explain for those of you all who have no idea of what I'm babbling about (LOL). A popular radio station has a promotion going on right now and the tag line is below.

"Calling all Homewreckers!! Call in(to the station) for your chance to win tickets to see ALICIA KEYS on her Freedom Tour during this winning weekend. We bet your boxing skills have to be good to mess with married men so you also get tickets to eat breakfast with Floyd Mayweather Jr."

WOW!! Did they really just throw poor Alicia under the bus?

Here's a little background for those of you that don't know the history with this story. Alicia Keys is romantically linked to the yet to be divorced (still married) mega producer Swizz Beatz. There are even rumors that the two love birds are engaged. It seems that Alicia's squeaky clean image has been tarnished a bit with these allegations. She joins the ranks of another female in the business who is dating a NBA basketball player (she shall remain nameless because last time I checked the truth hurt so bad she was suing bloggers LOL). We have heard the story of these two with the female being classified as a HOMEWRECKER.

One lady did call in the went on and on about how even though her "man" is married she is #1 and not his wife. She went on to explain their relationship and how it doesn't bother her that he is married. She even hinted that her "man" was a professional Ball Player (yea right and you are calling in the win concert tickets?). People have no morals or respect for themselves. I guess these HOMEWRECKERS have never caught an episode of SNAPPED(I'll reserve that for a later post).

WHAT'S DONE IN THE DARK, COMES OUT IN THE LIGHT...SOONER OR LATER!

By the way, Ms. Tyra has been on point with her guests as of late. Now it is not award winning journalism, however it is entertaining (foolery at its best).

Check out the video below of a lady saying she prefers to date married men and they are more attractive to her than single men.



via Youtube

SAY WHAT?!?!

Since the re-emergence of Whitney Houston we have all heard the debate of "Old Whitney" vs. "New Whitney". Most people are glad that Whitney is back to music and delivered from the unhealthy lifestyle that kept her away from the music business for so many years. On Oprah a while back Whitney told the story of her mother, Cissy Houston, arriving at her home with a sheriff and an ultimatum. I suppose the ultimatum was to get her life together or continue on a path of destruction. This makes me wonder what was the turning point? Was Whitney at her "rock bottom"? Or was the Intervention long over due? Or did other factors play a part in her mother deciding to act at that moment in time (was the well running dry?). We may never know, but I do know that Whitney has not been receiving good reviews overseas as of late. Most people realize that Whitney is not the "old" Whitney. Her voice has changed yet she can still sing better than most of the songbirds in the industry. However, the video below showcases a performance that I know Whitney wishes she can forget. After watching the video I wondered why none of her backup singers came to her rescue. In the words of Ms. Divadoll, Mama Whitney should retire "I Will Always Love You" because it sounds a mess in the lower key and she can not, I repeat, she can not hit the high notes.

Take a look...let me know what you think!




via WSSH

CHECK your Ego...so that I dont have to

In an age where many of us ladies have been accused of suffering from the "Independent Woman Syndrome", I have noticed an increase in a new syndrome that for some reason has yet to be named. I'll go ahead and call it the "Ego TRIPPIN syndrome". Over the past few months I have noticed young men suffering from this sickness. You think because you have a decent career, nice car, a place to stay, taking care of your kids, etc. that you should be given some extra props.

::NEWSFLASH:: This just in: The things that you have acquired and have been doing are NOT extraordinary..in fact hunnie..you work EVERYDAY, are educated, and laid down and made that baby...seems to me YOU SHOULD BE DOING THOSE THINGS! It's a part of being a MAN :)

I am by no means meaning to bash yall, but it seems that some of you took Beyonce' and Kanye a tad bit too serious when it came to the talk about egos. Please remember than even Kanye's BIG ego, landed him into publicity drama. CHECK YOUR EGOS FELLAS.

Let me take it a step further. A woman who becomes overly excited when you brag on your material blessings, is NOT I repeat NOT interested in you as a "good dude." If as you are talking about your new car, she is saying "oh when are you gonna let me and the girls drive that"...or if you are talking about your new raise and she makes mention of "a new bag I saw in the mall"..she is playing you for the fool you have portrayed yourself to be! When you really have it going on you dont have to say ANYTHING about it.

Then again, what do I know...I am the girl who isnt blinded by your possessions, but always on the quest to HAVE MY OWN. Unfortunately, because I dont jump up and down when you buy the new Beamer, Benz or Bentley (love that song lol) you cant handle it. Because when you tell me how much money you bring in annually I dont start spending your checks..you arent satisfied! A GROWN WOMAN wont overly concern herself with things that you have. She will be more interested in how she can BUILD UPON THE EMPIRE WITH YOU! Think about it..that SHOULD be what you want.

In closing let me say this, there is NOTHING better than a successful man. I love and appreciate you guys. However, I am not looking to be "upgraded" nor am I looking for a project. I am more interested in a man who has success, but doesnt have to let THE WORLD know. A man whose ego I am not having to constantly stroke! A man who realizes that waking up and going to work and handling your business daily does NOT equal deserving a cookie. Lets support each other, and build a life of success TOGETHER. You shouldnt want me to ride your coat-tail! Start appreciating and respecting the woman who could care less about your material blessings...she just might be the ONE you NEED on the team :)

Bruh...YOU DONT WANT TO TAKE IT THERE....

Today while I was doing a little shopping I picked up the film Diary of a TIRED Black Man. I didnt quite know what to expect, but had been seeing it on the shelf for awhile and decided to see what it was about. I must say I am happy I did. I think that the film sheds some light on how OUR BRUTHAS are viewing us when it comes to relationships. They all seemed to have something in common..the number one complaint was that black women were ANGRY (and from my first post...I can admit that I have definately been that.) There was one scene in the movie that REALLY disturbed me. Let me explain.

The film followed a couple from dating, to marriage..to divorce. It also showed how her girlfriends who themselves were in disfunctional relationships, affected the way she treated her man (who was a good man by the way.) One friend in particular was in an abusive relationship. There was a scene where her boyfriend was beating her DOWN and the married couple had to come to her rescue. I began to think...what would happen if myself or one of my girlfriends got into that type of situation. Although I hope and pray that none of us will find ourselves in an abusive relationship...I wonder what my first response would be.

Then I thought about it...I know that if I EVER called Ms.GreenTea and told her that a man had put his hands on me...the first thing she would ask me is if he was still breathing! (yea...sounds crazy...but...) LADIES if you dont RESPECT YOURSELF enough to NOT allow a man to put his hands on you...then you need to reevaluate YOURSELF!

On the flip side of this..we as women have to keep in mind that we should not be putting OUR hands on our men either! When I say this, the situation that comes to my mind is the Chris Brown/Rhianna situation...there were reports of her putting her hands on C.Breezy before "that night". LOOK LADIES...you cant think you are going to keep putting your hands on someone...and that they arent going to put their hands back on you. SO...ladies and gents...to TRY to maintain some type of "peace" I urge you all to KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! If you get in a situation where one party cant seem to handle that LEAVE...no, matter of fact RUN the other way!

Keke Wyatt said it best "When the drama starts to hit the fan, raise your voice but NOT your hand. And you can say the most hurtful things you can..you can yell, scream all those things DONT PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME"

RESPECT EACH OTHER! Be Blessed :)

Cracking Cases!!

So looks like Ms. Chay and I have found a side job! We are accepting new clients as we speak... Below is a story on a case we worked (seriously)

So recently Ms. N had an encounter with a young man Mr. S she knew from High School. After getting reacquainted with one another Ms. N asked Mr. S what he did for a living. Now she heard stories of Mr. S's profession, but why not ask the source. Mr. S stated he worked for a Government Agency (that shall remain nameless)! So being the inquisitive person I am I wanted to know what he did at this agency. Ms. N did not know, but stated she would ask Mr. S. It is truly a small world because I happened to have a friend that worked at the same agency (Evil Laugh muhahaha). I asked Mr. B (my friend of works at the agency)did he know Mr. S. I know, I know agencies have thousands of employees, so there is a chance that Mr. B will not know Mr. S (Kanye shrug). However, we are in the times of technology, so I asked Mr. B to run Mr. S through the email directory. This was a simple task that would only take a few seconds, but before that task could be completed the primary source started to change his story. Since the story was now shaky, Ms. N was instructed to go for the kill. Ms. N started asking Mr. S questions that he would know if he worked at this certain agency. Mr. S finally admitted that he did not work with that agency, but worked on an area base. Ms. N then questioned why did he lie? Mr. S did not have a real answer, he actually stated that he did not remember telling her that he even worked at the agency. (How convenient) Little by little the story started to unravel. The more it unraveled the more we dug. So finally we thought we had cracked the case. Mr. S did not work at that Gov't Agency he stated before, but another agency (so he said).

So it seemed like the conversation and investigating about the topic was over. So we thought until Mr. S showed up and pretty much showed out (LOL). Mr. S proceeded to show Ms. N proof that he really did work at the questionable Government Agency. So more investigation was needed to get to the bottom of this web of deceit. Now I wanted to know why he was lying? If that's where he works, what reason did he have to lie? Pics of the business card was provided to an actual employee of the agency who stated that Mr. S did work for the agency, because the email address checked out. Now after all these school yard games the truth was finally out. After all that work, it is definitely a turn off to have to guess important facts about someone. What does Mr. S have left? One of my motto's is, "If you don't have your word, then you have nothing." For one his character is tarnished. How can he be trusted in the future?

Moral of the story is something you have heard before on this BLOG....YOU DON"T HAVE TO LIE TO KICK IT!! Just tell the truth!! Turns out Mr. S has a pretty nice job, but that doesn't matter because being a LIAR trumps it!

So Ladies if you need to solve a case word to the wise GOOGLE and if that doesn't work feel free to consult with the NO. 1 Ladies Detectives Agency (DMV) office. LOL

SAY WHAT?!?!

Little Gold Diggers in Training!


via WSSH

So check the video above of a recent TYRA episode that will sure make you scratch your head...

People were buzzing about this episode of Tyra in which Mothers discussed teaching their daughters to marry for money. An interesting part in the video was the session with the Psychologist. The young girls were able to discuss why they choose each picture when prompted to decide on different men in different professions. Now I'm pretty sure that everyone wants to be financially secure, but is it right to teach these little girls to marry only based on money. So if a man lays his hand on her, she still should marry him because he is able to provide for her? SMH.

What is the world coming to? Is this the norm in today's society? If you decide to teach your daughter to be a GOLD DIGGER don't broadcast it on National TV. Just keep it a HOME SCHOOL LESSON!!

Do Good Guys Really Finish Last?

We have all heard the saying, “Good Guys Finish Last”! Are there any Good Guys left in this city? If you read my very first post “Sex and the City” (Check it out if you haven’t read it) you understand my take on Single Life in the City. I like to believe I know a few Good Guys (but they don’t count because they’re fam & close friends), but my question still remains where the hell are the Good Guys nowadays?

Let’s all take a trip down memory lane. I remember sitting in elementary school and when a boy liked you he would send you a note asking you to be his Girlfriend and to check YES or NO. Even at a young age if the boy was a bookworm, wore glasses, shy, not that cute, or not in the “IN” crowd I would pass. Even back in Elementary and Junior High School it was the bad boys that caught my attention. The boys always in the principal’s office, dressed to a tee with the fresh sneakers, cutting school, and hanging with the “IN” crowd. Who knew or even thought that the “outsiders” would grow up to outshine the “insiders”. Most of the” insiders” often got lost along the way. Whether it was from the activities that they participated in outside of school or just being concerned with nothing more than being in the “IN” crowd in school.

It seemed that the “outsiders” were the ones who grow up to be doctors, lawyers, and successful in their own right. Remember the Good Guy who stayed to himself and was not as appealing as the bad boy? Well the Good Guy grew up to be a college graduate with a successful career (SMH). Most of the bad boys have about 5 kids, 3 baby mothers, still in the street, or ex-offenders. (Who got the JUICE now? LOL) At times it still seems are if the Bad Boys outnumber the Good Guys. Or is it Good Girls just can’t leave those Bad Boys alone…

There is always an exception to the rule. You can often find a Good Guy being too good and playing SUPERMAN at the same time. The SUPERMAN is a GOOD GUY often masquerading as a superhero. SUPERMAN is in a relationship with a woman (whom he has saved) that is not his equal (in reference to education, careers, goals, and etc) yet he is providing for her and her family. Its like SUPERMAN doesn’t want the successful, savvy, and independent LOUIS LANE. That’s too GOOD to be true. SUPERMAN wants what he wants, but that doesn’t always mean GOOD GIRLS are in the equation.

2010 Winter Olympics

via Associated Press

It's BLACK HISTORY MONTH so we continue to celebrate the many accomplishments of African Americans.

Just wanted to take this moment to SHOUT OUT Mr. SHANI DAVIS of the United States for winning his second GOLD MEDAL in the 1000m Speed Skating event at the 2010 Winter Olympics. Clap for 'em!!! He definitely did his thing today. Mr. Davis made history in 2002 by being the first African American to make an Olympic Speed Skating team.


First Black Olympic Figure Skating Pair

The First Black Olympic Figure Skating Pair made their Olympic debut at the 2010 Winter Olympics. France's Vanessa James and Yannick Bonhuer are the first black duo in Olympic history to compete in Olympic pairs skating. Congrats to the duo for making history!!

Check the video below:



via Youtube

Good Girls Gone Bad...

via WSSH


The Tyra Show has really surprised me during my mini vacation. The show has been airing more in depth topics instead of the usual Top Model reunions and make over shows. I came across this episode while surfing the net. The clip shows a young women who wants to confess to her mother and grandmother that she has been stripping.

Well go ahead and watch the clip. Pay close attention to her mother's reaction. It is truly sad when you have no other way to communicate with others except to bring them on national television to discuss issues and disclose secrets(however in this case I do believe it was done in the public forum for the young woman's protection).

Now I (and others) have been in similar situations. College students with bills, financial obligations, jobs and school work. However, resorting to stripping was not an option (at least for me). It seems that her family is supportive. Her mother even made a statement that she is spoiled. So why is she stripping? Peer Pressure? Or the temptation of the Fast Life? We may never know the real reason, but too often people get caught up in the "life"!! Will she stop once she finishes school, like so many have said before her? I hope that she makes the right decision. She needs to use her education and not her body to excel in life.

You Dont Got To Lie To Kick It!!!

We have made it past Valentine's Day! For the last five years, I have been out of the dating game so Valentine's Day has been just another day for me until yesterday. I'm single! Valentine's Day is not even a holiday that I recognized.

Recently, I have been bombarded by men, all different ages, from all different walks of life. I am clueless as to why within the last four months, I am being pursued so heavily. Of these gentlemen, I've become acquainted with one in particular. Now this gentlemen has presented himself as a single, successful, business man, with no baby mama drama. Does this sound to good to be true? That's because it is too good to be true. While getting to know this man on a more intimate level, I've discovered that he is "divorced", and has "two grown children." Now there goes strike one and two. I could have headed for the hills after learning those things about him, but everyone has a past right? Who am I to judge? I have a past, and have done some things that I should be smacked for, but I have never lied about my past, and I don't present myself falsely. I strongly feel that you do not spill your guts, and tell your whole life story when initially meeting someone, but do not lie. If something comes up that you feel uncomfortable discussing, then say that you don't want to discuss the topic this early into the relationship. Either the person accepts it, or they do not.

One thing I know about men is that they are hunters by nature. When a man sees something he wants he formulates a plan of attack. They use strategic methods to go about getting what they want especially if it is a woman. In order to get that woman, a man will DO ANYTHING, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY! He's going to call everyday all day, take you out, compliment you, and try to fill your head with all kinds of foolery. Now let's fast forward back to my situation: the young man who I previously mentioned above has formulated a plan of attack on me. For the past three months he calls, he compliments, gives gifts, and so on and so forth EXCEPT YESTERDAY! Let me be clear, I don't expect this man to do anything for me, or buy me anything. He just does while he confesses his undying love for me (by any means necessary). So why is it on love day I hear nothing from him until 7:00pm? when he did call do you know what he said, " I was in church and with my mother all day. Also, my sons and I went out for Valentines Day." Sounds like he may be trying to live/lead two different lives. Did I accept his bull? HELL NO! I graciously let him know that he could keep that bulls**t in the commode, and that I will not play the mistress because the only role I play is First Lady!!!

Although I had to go through all of that drama with this one particular man, I did receive quite a few valentines gifts from other gentlemen. So all is not lost. When one apple becomes rotten, you just throw it out of the barrel, and get a new one.

Peace and Love

We Are The World Remake

Here is the highly anticipated "We Are The World" Remake!!

The "We Are The World" remake was organized due to the 25 Anniversary of the original version and Haiti Relief. As we all know, Haiti was hit by a devastating earthquake a month ago. The video was released during the Winter Olympics Opening Ceremonies.

Click the link below to watch the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUhyhpbLRXs

Are you done watching? OK, because I have a lot to say, but because the remake was for a good cause (Haiti Relief) I will refrain from critiquing the video.

Well maybe I will touch on a few things (just a few, I promise). It seemed as if Quincy Jones and Lionel Ritchie wanted to reach out to a vast audience with entertainers from different genres of music (just like the old version). There were moments when I was literally drawing a blank during the video. I was wondering how the hell they made some of the decisions to give people certain parts in the song. For example, why were T-Pain (and Lil Wayne) allowed to use Auto tune on this remake? Didn't Jay-Z lay auto tune to rest? Why was Nicole S. from the Pussycat Dolls (some of you all don't even know who that is) allowed to have a solo part when you have singers like Gladys Knight there?

I personally would take the old version over the new version any day. Give me Micheal Jackson, Ray Charles, Bob Dylan, Stevie and the gang. You all can have T-Pain, Wyclef, Miley Cyrus, and some of the other entertainers on the record.

On another note shout out to Jennifer Hudson, Mary Mary, Bebe Winans, and others that did not disappoint!

So after watching the video, what do you all think? Was I just hating? Was it really good? Or is it a mess?

Soldier of Love

It's that time again. The days of endless hearts, boxes of chocolates and that magic word "LOVE". Are you ready?

You know it's funny, I think this is the first year that I have actually sat down and thought about this holiday. Typically it just goes as a day unnoticed, but it seems the older I get (and the more friends I have that get boo'ed up, engaged or married) this holiday becomes more and more significant. A day that brings smiles and laughter to some, sends others into a depressed state over one thing lacking in their lives, that one thing being love.

Over the past couple of weeks I have asked several people what exactly this day means to them. While the ladies for the most part say that this is a day to celebrate the person or people who mean the most to you, and show them you care. The fellas seem to think that this day is ALL about the ladies. In fact I heard numerous times how unappreciated the men feel on this day. I mean think about it, they have to go out and find the "perfect" gift, only to find that their valentine has in no way shown the same thought or initiative in the gift they receive (sex not included.) As I thought about this, the guys have a point. This day is mostly about the ladies. I mean how many commercials have you seen where the woman is presenting the man with the "gift of his dreams"....I'm waiting....I'll answer for you...you haven't seen one! Unless it's a Sears commercial where she is giving him a new handy dandy tool set! LOL

All I am saying is this I DON'T WANT LOVE AND AFFECTION JUST ONE DAY OUT OF THE YEAR! I want it 365, seven days a week, 24 hours a day! So although I am not in a relationship now...even when my time does come I declare that I will NOT make a big deal out of this ONE day. This year to celebrate I will be sending my closest girlfriends Valentines Cards (if the DMV postal service ever starts running again! lol) For those of you without Valentines DON'T FRET! Make it a day all about YOU! Go buy yourself something nice, and celebrate being the AMAZING PERSON GOD CREATED YOU TO BE! DON'T I repeat DON'T spend the whole day watching sappy movies feeling bad for yourself! You may not have a significant other, but I am almost certain you have multiple people who love and appreciate you every day of the year!!

I have to believe that the ONE is out there somewhere, and you should believe the same! Be like Sade..a Soldier of Love...and fight off the Valentines day blues :)

Black History Month

photo via Amazon

February is Black History Month (as if you didn’t know). Even though we should celebrate or at least acknowledge our history all 365 days of the year, sometimes we lack in that department. Bohemian Helena the Social Butterfly had a very insightful post awhile back (Say It Loud: I’m Black and I’m Proud) on places to visit in order to learn more about Black History. We all have to do our part, because it seems as if the mainstream is not celebrating Black History Month this year (or is it just me) as they have previous years.

I remember the countless BLACK movies running on the TV, activities, school performances, and other observances in the communities and churches during the month of February. One proud moment that I can remember in reference to Black History Month, was winning a Black History Bowl in Junior High School. I studied a huge packet day in and day out (it also helped that I have a photographic memory). All the preparation paid off and helped me beat out the rest of my classmates for the grand prize (hard cold cash).

When I was in elementary school I received a book from my Grandmother about 12 influential African Americans. I was so intrigued by this book. I begin reading it and was determined to finish it in record time. It was no Goosebumps or Babysitters Club, but nonetheless it was interesting. The book was called One More River to Cross: The Story of Twelve Black Americans. The book tells the story of each person with mini biographies. Some are little known while others are notable because of their accomplishments and leadership among the African American community (and in history for that matter). It is a good read, and can be a gift to a child in grade school.

The twelve (12) African Americans profiled in the book include:

Matthew Henson
Crispus Attucks
Marian Anderson
Shirley Chisholm
Malcolm X
Ralph Bunche
Madame CJ Walker
Charles Drew
Ronald McNair (Aggie Pride) ☺
Fannie Lou Hamer
Romare Bearden
Eddie Robinson

So adults were you able to correctly identify each person above? Some you will know automatically, while others may require research. If you knew only 4 out of 12 of the people listed above, that’s a damn shame (LOL). I need you to buy this book from Amazon and get a much-needed Black History Lesson. Just kidding…but all jokes aside if you have children or even if you know school aged children find this book and give as a gift. Encourage OUR children to learn about OUR history and not only American History. “If we don’t know our history, we are bound to repeat it”-

More Black History Facts will follow for the remainder of the Month. Operation Let’s Celebrate Black History Month is in fill swing!!

SAY WHAT?!?!

Who says money can’t buy freedom? In DeWayne “Lil Wayne” Carter’s case it brought him an extra month before he has to report for sentencing in a NYC gun case. Mr. Carter has one hell of a lawyer to walk into sentencing and inform the Judge that Mr. Carter was having dental problems and propose an extension. Either that or the Judge is very thoughtful (or a fan). I can’t help but wonder if his grill is causing the dental problems. Either way Lil Wayne has already had a farewell party (like he’s going away to school or someplace) and recorded a video message to all his fans. So now it seems that he can do it all again at the end of the month.

MTV also released some information about Lil Wayne's new place of residence for the next 8 months to a year. He will not have to cut his dreds as first reported, however he may want to unless Mike Mike and Tay are going to maintain them for him*side eye* Also he has to be in the bed at 10pm and breakfast is as early as 4am (with the rooster). Mr. Carter is allowed a TV with basic channels only (damn, damn, damn, No CABLE) and can watch DVD's. Already seems like a better setup than most facilities. Since everyone is "doing their time these days" When Lil Wayne goes to prison he will join the "Elite Club" of a few or your favorite rappers, entertainers, and athletes.


Side note: Since Lil Wayne is getting the dental surgery done, will he keep his grill when he goes to prison next month?


Check the video of Wayne leaving the Court House. It is not interesting, but I thought it was funny how the camera guy says, “Do your time, don’t let the time do you” LOL


via AP and WSSH

YES OR NO?

Below is a post submitted by a Reader. Read, Respond, and Enjoy!!!

The question still stands to be answered. So many of us take our spouses for granted. I am often reminded of a story of a person whose spouse died in the middle of the night. Each day and night thereafter, the spouse wakes up to no one to talk to, to laugh with or spend time with. For those of us whose spouse is living we often take that spouse for granted. We set them on a nice glass shelf and wait till we need them.

Once we realize we need our spouse we will pull them off that nice glass shelf and blow the dust away. Once the dust is blown away we ask our spouse “what do you want to do today”, so nicely and politely the spouse answers “whatever you would like to do because I know your time is very valuable and soon I will be placed on the glass shelf again, once again whatever you would like to do”. This sounds like the spouse knows the other one very well.

Can you imagine following asleep never to wake again? Let’s not place our spouses aside lets keep them involved in everything we do.

Remember tomorrow is not promised to us, but today is. What will your answer be when thinking about your spouse, to cherish or to place on a shelf?

-C. MOORE

SAY WHAT?!?!

Well here is another SAY WHAT?!?! post due to the foolery that occurs day in and day out around the world. The latest foolery occurred in New York resulting in a 12 year old girl being arrested for doodling on a school desk. Yeah, you read it right, I said DOODLING ON A SCHOOL DESK. Arrested, placed in handcuffs, and led to the local precinct. So we just going to waste time and tax payer dollars on arresting a 12 year old for doodling when there are real criminals to catch?! I would agree that doodling on the desk is a destruction of property, but the punishment did not fit the crime.

Read the description from the NY newspaper, pay close attention to the "erasable marker" part LOL

"A 12-year-old Queens girl was hauled out of school in handcuffs for an artless offense -doodling her name on her desk in erasable marker, the Daily News has learned Alexa Gonzalez was scribbling a few words on her desk Monday while waiting for her Spanish teacher to pass out homework at Junior High School 190 in Forest Hills she said."I love my friends Abby and Faith," the girl wrote, adding the phrases "Lex was here. 2/1/10" and a smiley face. " - NY News

Check the video below to see the foolery:


via WSSH

Pretty Girls!!!

Who is considered a pretty girl? Obviously not plus size women. When you think of a beautiful woman you think about Beyonce, Alicia Keys, and Tyra Banks just to name a few. There are people who truly believe that big is not beautiful. As a plus size woman you have to bring it. As a African American plus size woman, you DEFINITELY have to have it together. There is no room for error when it comes to your appearance, hygiene and so on and so forth. Of course by now you must know that I'm a plus size woman because a skinny bish would not be writing about this issue. I know I do a damn good job keeping up my appearance, and I often get compliments. Compliments are good for peoples self esteem. The issue is when I receive compliments from people (male or female) they always end the compliments with "for a big girl." That drives me crazy. Here are a few of the compliments that I hear often, " You are pretty for a big girl. You smell good for a big girl. You dress nice for a big girl." Once upon a time I felt like I should be grateful for any compliment I receive because if you were big, then you were not beautiful.

When I was growing up, people associated being big as a negative thing. I'm sure everyone remembers the character "Big Shirley" from one of the best sitcoms of all time Martin. Cole got made fun of all the time for being in love with Big Shirley. On the show they made it clear that Big Shirley was big, black and greasy looking. Just flat out unattractive. Why couldn't Big Shirley be fly huh Martin? Why couldn't Queen Latifah, Jill Scott, Jennifer Hudson, or myself (lol) just to name a few portray Big Shirley. There are big beautiful people out here, and we deserve to be complimented regardless of our size. We shouldn't always be categorized as big, stinky, greasy mofos who just don't care about how we look. Some of us do and we go the extra mile to make sure that we are just as fly as the next person.

Don't get me wrong people, a compliment is still a compliment, but compliment a person simply because they deserve the compliment regardless of their size, color, or whatever else.

ALL MY BG'S STAND UP!!! Stay tuned for my next topic; Dating Big Women. Coming Soon!!! Peace and Love

SUPER BOWL XLIV

photo via Reuters

Congrats to the New Orleans Saints for Winning Super Bowl XLIV. Above is the play that sealed the deal!


I will agree with something my brother from another mother said via TWITTER check it out:

"The Saints Super Bowl Parade might be Bigger than MARDI GRAS!! From KATRINA to SUPER BOWL WINNERS...GOD is definitely Blessing the City of New Orleans. -@WesWho


He said it best!! I'm happy for the City of NO, its was just their time and in GOD's plan. However, I would have loved to see my Vikings against the Colts (what have made for an exciting game).

I want to be excited for the Saints, but all the new found fans won't allow me....LOL (let me have my hissy fit)

Shoutout to a real NO girl, who sent me a message saying" WHO DAT say dey gonna beat them SAINTS... SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!!" With hella time left on the clock. It's all good. It was a long time coming.

So Congrats again...well at least until next year, when we do it all again (if there isn't a lock out) *crosses fingers*

SAY WHAT?!?!

So today after the BLIZZARD of 2010 passed, people begin to dig out and survey the damage. Some people in the area finally regained power, while others had to shovel the white stuff that was piled up. All day people patiently waited to see the area closings for Monday. One by one area school districts closed. Still the Federal Employees and the District waited for word on closings or reporting times. It wasn’t until late this afternoon (after many people had already dug out) that OPM posted that the Federal Government would be closed. On the local new channels D.C. Public Schools were listed as No Report then walah…they issued the word, “2-hour Delay”. Are you kidding me? Who would make that decision given the fact that the rest of the area is shut down? Truthfully speaking a lot of DCPS students walk to school, but that still is not safe. Some people have not shoveled their sidewalks and the snow is pretty deep. This will force children to walk in the street in order to make it to school. Walking in the street is dangerous given the fact that most of the streets are not cleared. Where is the logic? Better yet the Common Sense? When I heard that every school district except DCPS was closed, I was pissed. I don’t have children, but I’m big on rational decisions and this was far from one. Why would you have the kiddies out in that mess? C’mon sons (Mayor Fenty and Michelle Rhee). Damn Shame I tell you, when people are in leadership positions and don’t possess any common sense.

I had just stated that I would be writing “An Open Letter to Mayor Fenty Part 2”, because of the foolishness that had occurred. Obviously, I was not the only one upset with the decision to have DCPS open on Monday. From what I hear, people flooded the School Board/Chancellor/DC Government (whoever) with emails about the decision. Power is truly in numbers. After about 4 hours of the 2-hour delay mess, DCPS announced it was closed on Monday. That’s what should have been done in the first place in my opinion. Fenty is skating on thin ice, isn’t it reelection year? I’m just saying he needs to get on everyone’s good side, if you know what I mean. Rule #1 you don’t mess with people’s children. They will surely light fire under your tail. So I guess the fire was lit, because the decision was reversed. NO SCHOOL DCPS!! Enjoy a SNOW DAY on your MAYOR and his trusty pet Chancellor Rhee!

The Question Remains…

Photo via Necolebitchie.com

Below is a post submitted by a reader. Read, Respond, and Enjoy!!


Why do we as woman let the men in our lives get the best of us?

You say you want to be with me but right now isn’t a good time
You say you don’t want a relationship
You say you haven’t forgiven us for things that happened before you
You say you love me
You say I was your first true love
You say I mean the world to you

These are all the things that we as women hear either throughout or at the end of the relationship. The moment a man sees that another man is interested in what you have to offer, they want to be with you. They stop playing all the games and show up unannounced to places in order to express their undying love for you. Women become frustrated with these displays of affection. Just a second ago the man was known for acting like a little boy. Now he can’t accept the fact that another man is taking his place. Majority of the time we (women) have not moved on and we decide to give up on the new love interest for the old one. Deep down inside we really love and care about the old love (guy) and we want it to work. You take all the bad and the good into consideration in order to make the relationship work. The old flame is telling you exactly what you want to hear and you as a woman believe deep down in your heart that this guy is really serious (or is he?). You give him another chance only to find out that he didn’t mean what he said. When it does not work the old flame blames the failed relationship on not being able to forgive or trust you for dealing with the new guy. The sad thing is why should you feel bad when you and the old guy were not even in a committed relationship when the new guy came into the picture.

Now ladies this is a shock to us, because ultimately you let the new guy go for the old guy. You now can see the mistake you have made. Reality is the new guy was probably the one who was willing to do any and everything you wanted the new guy to do. At the end of the day, did you really just fall for this mess again? Ladies were you sticking with the old guy and taking all his bull-ish because you feel as though you owed him? Finally as a woman, you decide that it is better to go separate ways and keep it moving. You decide to make things work with the new guy (yes after all that drama he took you back with open arms). You and the new guy make it work and eventually wed. Yet, you often think of the old guy. Still unable to completely let him go. You continue to talk to the old guy and often confide in him. Deep down inside you still care, but you also know that the old guy still has a lot of growing to do. Do the questions remain or do you do what is best? Now you must do what may be difficult, but all communication must come to an end. In the words of Usher, “Let it Burn”. Live your life stress free and with no regrets. If it didn’t work with the old guy consider it a lesson learned and make it last with the new guy.

-J-BEZZY!!!!!!!!!