You're on Candid Camera!!!

via Fox News

Very sad situation. Video of Police Brutality on the campus of University of Maryland. It seems to be very common these days, but most people are not lucky enough to catch the violent attack on video (I'm about to buy my FLIP camera any day now). After UMD beat Duke (NCAA Basketball) the students took to the streets (not rare) and started to loot and basically "wild out". The video shows a male being closed in by the police in riot gear, and all of a sudden the police proceed to assault/attack the victim.

Fox 5 news (WTTG) reported that the FBI is investigating the incident. Chief Hylton of the PG County Police department stated that one of the officers involved has been suspended for making false claims in the charging documents. The charging documents stated that the victim struck the officers and a horse (really?!?!) which led to the beating. The news also reported that the victim has obtained legal counsel and plans to sue the police department.

Source: Fox 5 News

Reality TV Round-Up

April is the unofficial month for Must See TV (or not)!

First let's start with Brandy's and Ray's "Family Business". It seems like Ray J is tired of looking for LOVE and has decided to incorporate the whole family for a bigger pay off. The show is suppose to show "Momanager" Sonia Norwood taking a step back to show her kids the business and let them have more control of their careers. It is known that people in the business do not want to work with Ray J and Brandy because of their Mom. Not sure if this show will hold my attention through the season. It seemed like a big cry fest by Brandy as the show goes on. The show comes on Sundays at 9pm

Next is "Basketball Wives" brought to us by Shaunie O'Neal (ex-wife of Shaq O'Neal). The show airs on Sundays at 10pm. The show features about 5-6 even though only two of them are wives (current). Some of the players are less known other than Antoine Walker, Shaq, and Dwight Howard. Dwight Howard has a "Gag Order" on Royce who is featured as a NBA dancer when in actuality she is his child's mother (that is drama within itself, whew child). The show is supposed to be an inside look into the lives of the wives and all the drama outside the limelight. If you are looking for foolery and drama at its best. Tune in or catch up at the water cooler.

Up third we have "What Chilli Wants" staring TLC member Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas. She is looking for love with the help of Tionna Smalls and self help author. It is a power struggle because Chilli wants the "right man" has to meet her criteria. Chilli has a list which consists of a non-pork eating, non-smoking, non-drinker, no more than 2 baby mamas and no tattoo having gentleman. (Yea I know the list is off the chain). Chilli has had two previous relationships with "industry" dudes that include super producer Dallas Austin and Usher Raymond. In my opinion it seems that Chilli is digging Money Mayweather (Floyd Mayweather), but until then she will entertain the prospect of finding her "Mr. Right" with the help of Tionna who thinks Chilli is too damn picky.

Catch these new shows on VH1 on Sundays!!

The 5 Love Languages

Today I was involved in an interesting discussion about "The 5 Love Languages" (some of you may be familiar with this topic). My co-worker enlightened the group on a discussion/lecture that she said was very interesting. "The 5 Love Languages" is a New York Times best seller. The author is Gary Chapman who has over 30 years of experience as a marriage counselor. According to Mr. Chapman, the "love language" is the primary way of expressing and interpreting love. Here is the outline of the "5 Love Languages".


"I feel especially loved when..."

1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION- People express how grateful they are for me. and for the simple everyday things I do.

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important–hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. QUALITY TIME- A person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me.

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there–with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby–makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3. RECEIVING GIFTS- A person brings me grits and other tangible expressions of love.

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous–so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4. ACTS OF SERVICE- Someone pitches in to help me, perhaps by running errands or taking on my household chores.

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. PHYSICAL TOUCH- A person expresses feelings for me through physical contact.

This language is not all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face–they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Do any of these describe when you feel most loved? If so, which best describes you?

To learn more about The 5 Love Language, take a good look at Gary Chapman’s best-selling book, The Five Love Languages.

Also check out the website at www.5lovelanguages.com

I am...

Every morning I have the same routine. I get to work, log into my computer and immediately open up my e-mail. Well, every morning it never fails I have a message from the "System Administrator" telling me my mailbox has exceeded it's storage space limit. Every morning I get frustrated, wondering how I can have plenty of space the day before when I leave..but when I get back in the morning I have "exceeded my limit"

Well today before I left work, I decided to look and see what types of old "junk" I have been keeping in my e-mail. Thinking that maybe if I go through and delete some things I wont have the same daily e-mail waiting for me in the morning. As I sorted through my e-mail I came to a realization. It's really difficult for me to admit to this, so bare with me :) I realized, while going through my e-mail inbox that I am indeed a "HOARDER".

I'm not the type of hoarder you see on that television series. You will NEVER find a dead cat in my home, bed bugs taking over my bed, or rotten food in my bedroom. What I hoard is far WORSE than that. You see those things I mentioned before can be cleaned and taken care of much easier than what I hold onto. I hoard negative e-mails and the past hurt they caused. Let me explain.

If someone says something I consider mean in an e-mail (business and/or personal) I feel like I cant get rid of it. I use it as a constant reminder of WHY I am upset or hurt. I had e-mails from the beginning of this year from someone who hurt my feelings. I saved all of his e-mails and all of the e-mails from my friends discussing how hurt I was about the situation. I sat there at my desk (as I have done before) and read each and every one of those e-mails. A situation that I considered "dead" and that I claimed no longer affected me, seemed to take life and form all over again. Reading those e-mails made me feel like I was taking 20 steps in the wrong direction of my positive thinking quest.

This isn't the first time I have displayed this behavior. I once kept hurtful e-mails from someone for 5 years. Every time I went into my inbox to delete the messages, I ended up reading them, reliving them and keeping them. One day I decided it was time to put a stop to my madness, but I couldn't seem to do it myself. I gave a friend of mine my password and asked him to delete ALL of the e-mails that I had saved from this particular person (I even had a folder smdh). He deleted the e-mails, and I finally felt free from that past. Until I logged onto that same account weeks later and realized that he had forgotten to delete ONE last e-mail...and guess what, I haven't deleted it as of today...and that was over 2 years ago.

My hoarding habits have become detrimental to my future. Just like my e-mail inbox I have "exceeded my mental limit". Reliving the past has been keeping me in this place I don't want to be! I cant be happy if I continue to hold onto all of the negative things people say or do to me. I have to GET RID OF IT! That said, tomorrow when I go into work I am going to face those e-mails head on...and finally let go and DELETE them...no more reliving what could have been, what was or questioning why.

*standing up* My name is Chay, and I am a RECOVERING hoarder of all things negative. It stops here, NOW.

Now think to YOURSELF, what is it that YOU are holding onto that is preventing you from being the BEST YOU?

Be Blessed!